My God! Why is all the pain and tears back again? The thought of the past and my love to my husband have overwhelmed me again.
The new man in my life said he loved me and all I could see in front of my eyes, is my husband's face when he was telling me same words. All I could hear, my husband's voice: "I will always love you".
I can't love my new man, and it is so sad, because he wants me, he takes care of me, he makes me feel like a little princess when i'm in a bad mood, and still, apart from warm feeling, I don't feel no love to him.
I keep crying days and nights again. I can't eat and my weight started to drop again.
Sometimes I ask God why did he take my family away. All I ever wanted is a family. All my life was about him.
I feel so hopeless now, all my efforts to overcome this pain have not work. How can I look into the new man's eyes and lie how I feel.
My heart goes out to you so much. Have you gotten any help through all of this? I too love my ex husband and thought he would always love me and it kills me to hear that he now loves someone else.
Until you can completely let him go I don't know how you can love a new man in your life. From everything I have been told and read it takes time. I don't know how much time but it takes time. There are stages to the grief of losing your marriage. I don't remember the web site but if you go on the internet and just put in stages of grief it should come up. I was suprised to see that you go in and out of many stages during the process and that is completely normal. It might help you to read it and realize your feelings are ok.
Take care of yourself and see if that helps at all.
Perhaps you need some emotional space & time to sort out your feelings. I would be honest with your partner. If he respects you, he will give you some space. Lying to him about your feelings for him is just going to make you feel bad & you don't need or deserve that.
Please Please Please do not consider going back to that evil man!!!!!!!! Maybe the new man is just a rebound for you but he is there and if nothing else can be a friend to lean on. You might tell him this is so new and you haven't dealt with everything emotionally yet and need to slow down the relationship a bit. I hope you are seeing a therapist for yourself. Your child has to come first! You are suffering from the grief of this sick and abusive man your ex. Just know this will take time to come to grips with. I think most of the ladies on this site have found little or no contact with the abusive ex is the best for them. This allows them to heal and move on with their lives. Just what you have posted about the ex has been so disturbing to read. This is a very sick man and you need to protect your child from this man. You need to go through the whole grieving process I'm afraid. I wish there was a short cut but there isn't. Be honest with the new man. He deserves that. You may grow to love him very much once you can see through the pain. We are all here for you.