Dear Stillhurting, I understand your deep pain and anger. Please forgive me for this statement. I am not sure how wise that actually was of you. Your son's surely looked up to you for always taking the high road. In my thinking this has greatly impacted their respect for you. I don't believe they would ever tell you this but I'm sure this was very disappointing for them to hear. You are probably their only shinning example of goodness so please don't damage that. This shows you haven't been able to heal and let go. My advise is tell them the truth and then stay out of it. Your ex and his new women will get caught and you will be the bad guy if you contribute to this. Trust me the boys and his family will find out the truth eventually. Don't damage your relationship with the boys. Our children learn from our examples so put the best example out there you can for them to see. I'm so sorry for the pain you still feel and I wish I could do something to take it away for you. This is not a good way to take it away. God will see to it they pay for their sins all in good time and he doesn't want you to help him. Please feel free to voice anything you want. I just hope because it isn't me I can be more objective in my thinking. We are all here for you always.

Why don't you just say their Dad is seeing a married woman and you think that isn't right but Dad has his reasons...I see nothing wrong with letting them know this fact because it is the truth. Just try not to get them to choose sides...

Don't play games with your sons...They are step sons...and will always see and forgive their Dad...blood is thicker afterall.

You stay strong...and in the end, you will look and feel good because it isn't you that ran off with a married person.