I haven't been wearing my wedding ring for awhile. Husband just recently noticed, so he took his off too. Now he wants my wedding ring back so he can take it to a pawn shop for money. I have it hidden now. How childish can a man be? He gave me his ring, stating he doesn't want it anymore. I'm in the beginning stages of filing for divorce. Money is an issue. Don't know if I can afford attorney costs. Our house is currently in foreclosure. We were trying to save the house, but now that doesn't seem possible. Husband has a work related injury, and hasn't worked for a long time. I've asked him to leave many times, but he thinks I'm the one that should leave. Don't know what to do? I feel so torn apart, depressed. Taking each day as it comes. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.

Dear Jeannie, I'm sorry for your pain. This is his way of getting back I'm sure. You did not indicate if you have children or not. Your options are going to be affected by whether or not that is the case. I have seen it so many times on this site that engaging these men doesn't serve you at all. I filed for divorce after 37 years and my husband and I still lived in the same household. It was very painful for me! Believe it or not we are working on reconcilation and it looks like I'm going to be withdrawing my divorce petition. There was not infidelity on either of our parts but very serious control and money issues which we are still working on. It could take a long time for them to foreclose on you and put you out in the current climate. You know your limits. Do you want a divorce for sure? Financial strain does terrible things to a marriage. Is this a product of your circumstances or is it bigger than that? He will get a settlement eventually I'm sure. If you want out and there are no real issues to fight about you can file your own divorce. I did it which was almost 38 years ago and I had two children. My ex and I were very cooperative though. Do not let him find your rings you earned them. You may even want to give them to someone else for the time being to safeguard them for you. Keep in touch on this site there is a wealth of support here.

I sure wouldn't give it to him. In fact, I would act like you thought HE had it and ask for it because you need to hock it to pay the power bill.

When I got seperated and on my way to divorce, I took some of my jewelry to the pawn shop and sadly it was not worth much. Was worth just the weight of gold--not the stones. Of course the price of gold has gone up allot since then so you might have better luck. I ended up giving away my wedding set and other pieces because I did not want to look at them. Unhappy memories. Then I went on Ebay and bought myself some new jewelry very reasonably. That is an idea--try to sell it on Ebay or the local Mule Trader or something like that.

Good luck to you and please do not give him anything that you could use to benefit yourself or your children.

SAM