Re: confusing feelings after leaving a long abusive relationship
Hi...thank you for sharing this story; it's nice to hear about the experiences of others, so it being about you is not a problem!
I have to meet this woman today due to a dog we still share back and forth...she will be there when I drop the dog off (the dog HAS to go to the vet today for a urinary tract infection and I am leaving town to see my mom.)
I have been on the minimal to no contact regiment with my ex so I can heal...but the little bit of exposure I get due to the dog, and our extremely small town, keeps me well aware of this relationship and how much time they are spending together just a few weeks after the divorce. I know none of it is a reflection of me...but it's still hard. I want to give the dog to him (though I love the dog) so it gets rid of that reason we have to interact but he can't take him yet due to his apartment situation.
Anyway, our town is so small I figure I have to meet her sometime...and not knowing what she looks like, etc. is only fuel for the imagination. So I plan to just be civil and not say anything, unless she asks, which I doubt. None of this is her fault. And I harbor no ill will against her. She met him legitimately post-divorce on match.com.
I feel sorry that I can't tell her he beat me up. But I know she might not believe me anyway (he is so charismatic as I said, especially in the beginning)...it's her thing to figure out I guess, though that seems wrong somehow to let that happen. But I can't spend the rest of my life telling all his new girlfriends.
Wish me luck! Hope it doesn't bring up all the hurt in a big way to see her. If it does...I'll just feel it and try to get back to ME.
Re: confusing feelings after leaving a long abusive relationship
Dear Newlife, I am really grieved by your story. Loss is so hard to come to grips with. He is a time bomb just wait. Thank God you got out before you suffered any serious physical injury. He will revert back to his bad behavior. One day everyone will know the truth about him. I just hope he doesn't seriously hurt someone in the process. He is headed for jail. Domestic violence is no longer tolerated in our society. You now have the opportunity to move on and creat an even better life for yourself. Destiny is going to catch up with the ex and you won't be the one who is going to get hurt this time. Just try and move on with YOUR life which you so richly deserve. We will welcome your imput into our little circle of friends. Just know we are here for you when you need us.