Cindy, there could very well be someone out there looking for someone just like you to love and be loved by. Someone that would ALWAYS put you first. Just because they've been married before does not mean you are second. They had not met you. You don't know the circumstances of their dissolved marriage. They didn't put someone else ahead of you...you were not there. But as long as you hold on and continue to be second best to your current H, that person will never meet you. You will never know. Just some food for thought.

One additional thought...can you honestly say you are fulfilled now?

Cindy,

Not to be harsh also, but I gave my ex a number of chances to leave and come back because I thought the same thing... that he would get out there and start missing what we had together, that he would realize what he was doing, and at first he did always ask to come back because he missed us and loved us(me and the boys). But things changed, each time he came back he would try less and less to make things work. In truth, he wanted time to adjust to the idea of being with this new girl, but like your ex, he always wanted to leave that door open. He wanted to feel safe knowing that there was something still there if he needed it, but the fact was he was just doing things in his time, he is the biggest coward I know and he was just going to play the game till he was finished. I had to take control and put an end to it myself. I don't regret letting him come back the times he did, like you I needed that time to know that I had did all that I could. I had no regrets when it came time to tell him to leave and not come back. I may have if I didn't give him chances, but I reached that point where I knew enough was enough. People gave me advice and I took it all to thought, but I knew it was over when I hit that point. I think you are coming slowly to that point yourself. I see the signs in what you are saying and the questions you are asking. Stay strong, read and think about all the posts and in time you will know what you will have to do. I did, it wasn't easy, but it did free me.

Susan

Dear Susan, As usual I could not add a thing to your post in fact I am so glad I read it before I responded to Alone. Your post gave a new twist on Alone's situation for me. Everything has it's season and her's hasn't ended quite yet. Just know Alone that we all care very much about you. We don't want to see you suffer any more pain. I to can see the change which is coming over you lately. I know you are such a strong women to have lasted nine months now. Your husband doesn't deserve such a wonderful women as you are. But no one has the right to tell you when it is time. As Susan I think you will know. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.