Bridget - I could have written what you posted. I am in exactly the same situation, although its 21yrs.
I wake at night aching for the physical touch of us, knowing he is in bed with a woman who is 15yrs younger than me. I feel old and worthless and now think he left me because I was old and not as attractive as his new mattress is. (I find the word mattress less offensive! but funnier!)

I weep constantly for no reason other than my heart is broken and I feel so wounded. I told my Mum I think I am suffering from depression as this has been going on for over 12mths now.

I only just found out about the new woman and her child a few weeks ago and it kills me.

I am the same, if only he would have given us a go, not just packed up and run away. He couldn't face his guilt so its easier to move on and take his guilt with him.

I hate life so much at the moment I could stay in bed all day and cry, but as you ladies say, it only gets me puffy eyes, and I am so over puffy eyes :(

Living in our house which he now refers to as "the property" no longer his home, this is so sad as we built it from the ground up and it was all mostly planned by him, it was what he wanted. Now he wants no part of it, I don't get it. I did make him take boxes which I packed up with his things in them, that also was so hard to see him leave with his car packed and leaving me behind. He has no idea how much grief I suffer daily.

Anyway, thanks for listening ladies and Alone I don't think I could have done what you are doing, you are a beautiful person and I admire your strength. Hang in there everyone we will get through this

thank you Jo for your response. It helps to see that I am not alone in this. We were married 34 years and now divorced 6 months. I never wanted the divorce and still don't. I know it would not be right or even good for me to be back with him but I just can't stop missing him and the us part. If I was in a place where I could meet people and not have to deal with selling everything I love so much maybe things wouldn't be so bad. I have horses and goats that I have to sell. I have had one of the horses for almost 15 years and I love her dearly. It kills me that I have to give up and get rid of almost everything because hewas not man enough to do the right thing. but even with that said, I still miss him. I talked to him on the phone tonight and I asked him if he will ever see me again, his answer was just this "I don't know, I have to go now bye". so what did I do, sat at the table and cried, alone. I just wish it was a year from now and all of this was over with.
I hope you are able to get past this part soon and be happy. Thank you all for this forum and for all the thoughts.