You can't protect him. It was his job to protect you and your children. He is the one that should be concerned for you and your children but since he cant man up enough to do that and is concerned with only what is good for him then you need to just worry about what is right for you and your children.

My ex has never done a single thing for me without a reason behind it. As I look back now I see how really selfish he was all through our marriage. If I were you and your ex was my ex fixing my car he would only be doing it to say there is now no reason she can not travel some distance to look for a job, which will help you, BUT may also help him even more in the long run.

I hated and still do, the fact that my ex always has a reason for doing everything he does in a selfish way because I wonder if he will ever understand what true love really is. Even my children know that whatever their father does comes with a price when he wants payback.

I can only imagine how much my ex went over and over our divorce agreement in his head night after night. His lawyer wrote them out and my lawyer and I only made changes to each section. Our judge said it was the longest set of divorce papers she had ever seen and asked if we could live up to all of it.

I am blessed to be away from a selfish, scheming, controlling husband. The problem is he can always make it look like he is doing me the favor so he looks good to others. Which your ex may be doing to you if he anything as selfish as my ex.

Susan

Susan I wished I knew what to do...Not as much as my car but my daughter is a very need of repair & if we move to TN I do not want her sitting on the side of the rode in trouble & not know where she is...I keep telling myself just let God handle the out come but it is dragging so bad that I'm not sure I am not missing up my case with all the mishaps I have to deal with till it is over with...Just wished I had all the answers because he is trying to keep me from getting my 50/50 he needs every penny to keep his whor*....Even if it is costing him his kids....

Hi Dixie,

Write down all the things you need to do, prioritize them, do what needs to be taken care first, and so forth. You will not feel overwhelmed; ask your family and friends for help, delegate whatever you can to them to help you out. Have faith in yourself. Don't worry about what happens to him, it is not your job anymore. Reserve your time and energy for your daughter and yourself. Go to social services and find out if there are something they can do for your daughter. You will manage. Great success in your endeavor.


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Mai Bordelon :)
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Dixie,

Whenever I had an issue with my ex, I would ask the the Lord to put it upon my heart to make the right choice and that if I did not for some reason then give me the faith to trust that He would make it all work out for the good. You have to make choices (now) when it comes to divorce and remember, God works with us not always just for us. I would think, no matter what reason your ex has for fixing your cars, that if your daughter's safety is at hand, let him do it. There were times I knew my ex was doing things for me or the boys for his own personal reasons, but I allowed him to because I knew it was best for us at times also. You have to start making choices and trust that God will lead you in the right direction or correct any of your mistakes in time. We have to leap first sometimes and then in time God teaches us to have faith in ourselves as well as faith in him. Having faith in God does not show weakness... sometimes he leads us to wait, sometimes not, but I don't think always sitting and waiting for Him to do it all is what he has planned for us. You have inner confidence and strength. Have faith in God to help you find it...We are here to learn and grow throughout our lives.

Susan

Dear Dixie, I know this has been so hard on you and your family. Unfortunately he has made his choices and will have to live with the fallout from those choices. I agree with Susan to take anything he is willing to do for you and the kids. You are still his wife and basically his responsibility. An oil change isn't going to make your daughter's car road worthy in itself. I agree anything you leave on the table the OW will benefit from. It sounds like little or no contact with him is the best thing. He doesn't need to berate you about not having a job to help with your daughters college. I hope this is put into the divorce decree that he has to provide for college expense. I don't know how many children you have. I hope just one if you are going to be a single mom. You have an attorney and they should be looking out for your best interest. Part of the problem at least for myself is these men have been telling us for many years how things are going to be and that isn't what is going to happen in court. That is why I think it is best to have little or no direct contact with them until these things are settled. I hope and pray you can soon find some kind of peace in all of this. If this women helps your husband destroy his life it is on both of them not you. It sounds like you haven't quite moved on yet. It is such a hard process I know. Susan's advise is always so wise. Let God's hand guide you. Try and lead with your head and not your heart.