Dixie,

Whenever I had an issue with my ex, I would ask the the Lord to put it upon my heart to make the right choice and that if I did not for some reason then give me the faith to trust that He would make it all work out for the good. You have to make choices (now) when it comes to divorce and remember, God works with us not always just for us. I would think, no matter what reason your ex has for fixing your cars, that if your daughter's safety is at hand, let him do it. There were times I knew my ex was doing things for me or the boys for his own personal reasons, but I allowed him to because I knew it was best for us at times also. You have to start making choices and trust that God will lead you in the right direction or correct any of your mistakes in time. We have to leap first sometimes and then in time God teaches us to have faith in ourselves as well as faith in him. Having faith in God does not show weakness... sometimes he leads us to wait, sometimes not, but I don't think always sitting and waiting for Him to do it all is what he has planned for us. You have inner confidence and strength. Have faith in God to help you find it...We are here to learn and grow throughout our lives.

Susan

Dear Dixie, I know this has been so hard on you and your family. Unfortunately he has made his choices and will have to live with the fallout from those choices. I agree with Susan to take anything he is willing to do for you and the kids. You are still his wife and basically his responsibility. An oil change isn't going to make your daughter's car road worthy in itself. I agree anything you leave on the table the OW will benefit from. It sounds like little or no contact with him is the best thing. He doesn't need to berate you about not having a job to help with your daughters college. I hope this is put into the divorce decree that he has to provide for college expense. I don't know how many children you have. I hope just one if you are going to be a single mom. You have an attorney and they should be looking out for your best interest. Part of the problem at least for myself is these men have been telling us for many years how things are going to be and that isn't what is going to happen in court. That is why I think it is best to have little or no direct contact with them until these things are settled. I hope and pray you can soon find some kind of peace in all of this. If this women helps your husband destroy his life it is on both of them not you. It sounds like you haven't quite moved on yet. It is such a hard process I know. Susan's advise is always so wise. Let God's hand guide you. Try and lead with your head and not your heart.