I know exactly how you feel. It just makes it so real and up until the point where you had to see the final papers after it was over it still didn't seem so real. I have been divorced for almost 8 months and I still don't want it to be real. I still can't think about it and I have never read the final papers again once they were signed and it was over.
I talked to him on the phone tonight and I still miss him so much. I know he lived with the last woman he cheated with and I know he cheated at least 2 other times. Even with that said I have loved this man for 34 years and trusted him with my life and I just can't seem to turn the love off or the missing him off or especially the missing us part off. Everyone said it will get better in time but it seems like it is getting worse for me. I didn't miss him as much a few months ago but now I just can't stop thinking about him and crying about it. What a mess this is.
So anyway, I know what it is like to be in that daze and realize you life is now changed forever. It sucks sometimes even thought it was something you might have wanted. I did not and still do not want my divorce.
I hope things get better for you.
Take care