I just finished going through 'our' photo albums and removing all of those photos I don't want. I am saving them and will give them to Jerk. My observation, however, is that he never did look happy in most of the photos, starting with those of our wedding. This was not true of the photos taken when we were dating. The number of photos of him after our 2nd (and youngest) child was born dropped dramatically and became almost non-existant over the next 8 years. He just dropped out of our lives. I took the kids camping and to do things families do. He might show up for a day or 2, but not the whole trip. He just didn't want to be a family man. It should have been apparent to me on our wedding day. But then I wouldn't have my 2 great boys now, would I?

My kids have been talking about things they do when they are with him on his every other weekend. They work around 'the place' a lot. He just was never interested in cleaning up and working around our acreage. There is so much to do here, but his heart was never in it...he loves to work around 'the place' at his Dad's. I guess I'll never understand it, but I don't think anything I could have done would have EVER made him happy. HE wasn't/isn't happy. That has to start from within.

The kids are leaving for a fishing trip with him tomorrow. We got out the calendar yesterday and I showed them some things that would be coming up. My youngest especially needs that visual. Anyway, they'll be gone probably 6 days. My oldest looked at me and said, "Oh, that long? That's a long time to be gone." So he couldn't take aweek off to vacation as a family, but he can now? It is so frustrating. I'm so glad he's gone, goNE, GONE!

It's amazing what they decide they want to do when they leave, but it is all part of that hopping over the new fence experience. It's as if they say, look at me and what I am doing because the new grass on this side inspires my happiness. Grass is grass. After they have tumbled in it and wear it down throughout time it'll all be the same just like these men are, all the same, always looking for someone or something to make them happy.

I have said this before on this forum, but it still holds true to me....Sometimes my days are long and hard or things don't always work out at times and the grass on my side of the fence does not always look as green and lushes as his, but then I remember....

His is fertilized with a lot of bullsh*# so it tends to grow better but it stinks anyway you look at it. Try to keep your eyes on you and your children and forget what he does or has on his side of the fence. You can grow flowers on your side with the love and care you shower your children and yourself with.

Susan

Susan It is amazing to read what you write. I am always looking at things the flea is doing. He bought a bike, when I asked him repeatedly to buy one and go out with us. He is grilling, when I would ask him to do it, and he was always tired. He washes cars, and I can go on and on. I think he is a hypocrite because all the things he hates now he is doing with big foot. I keep telling my daughter, he will soon get tired and want to go back to the way things were and then big foot will see the man he really is. Thanks Susan your words help.

Yes, all our exes are the same aren't they now. My ex bought a bike as well and a motorcycle and added a second garage to his already new home etc....It no longer bothers me because he will always be like this. It is really kind of sad. My ex did all this with me when we first started dating and were married only then he borrowed a motorcycle, but in time he puts things down and moves on and then when there is nothing else he can think of he goes right back to doing the same things all over again in a cycle. He is never truly happy with anything in time. He is always looking for the next high he gets by doing something new or changing something.

I have to say I truly believe I am a much richer person than him in life because I can be content in what I have or do not have. I have been pretty well off and I have been poor throughout my life in material things, but I have always been very happy with life...Just not in this divorce I had to face, but it is over and it is time to move on. I never really lost my happiness, I only placed it in the back of my life for a while with all the sadness of this divorce. I now find myself placing this divorce on a back shelf and pulling my happiness back out. Happiness as we all know is within us....not in material things or other people. To bad our exes may never see this.

Susan

So how's that book coming? You are so beautiful with words. And your last paragraph left me smiling. I'm so excited to get moved and start a new chapter in my life.