I am sorry for the pain you are going through. Have you sought counseling, either just for you or as a couple? Would he consider this? I am curious about the reason for his last divorce. If he took the children from his first ex-wife, is this somehting he would do again? You need to plan carefully and be well prepared. Start documenting everything with the kids-when he plays with them, helps them do something, they ask him for help and he refuses...anything that would help you in court. I'm afraid I haven't been much help, but you have come to a good place. There are great ladies here with a wealth of knowledge. Keep us posted.

I agree with Becky. Why did he get divorced the first time? How was he able to take the children from their mother? Could he do the same thing to you? Cosider these things as you think about leaving.

Whether or not to leave him while 5 months pregnant, I think depends on a number of things. Is he phyiscally or emotionally abusive - hitting, name calling, verbally putting you down ect.? Do you have a support network in place such as parents or friends that you can lean on through the rest of your pregnancy? Some women in here said they made lists of reasons to stay and reasons to go. You might also make a list of what your options are. I don't have muh advice either, but know that you are not alone. This is a great place to work through your feelings and ideas.

A book that helped me was "Too Good to Leave; Too Bad to Stay." It takes you through a number of relationships issues and helps you think through how serious they are. It didn't help me to decide...that took me another year and a half. But it got me thinking about things in a helpful way.

Dear JJ, Being pregnant and being unable to share that joy with your babies father is so heartbreaking. My first husband and I seperated when I was 6 weeks pregnant with our daughter. There was alot of history which lead up to our seperation. I destroyed our marriage myself by being unfaithful. I spent the whole pregnancy by myself and it was one of the most traumatic times of my whole life. This situation will be forever life altering for you based on your decision. I hope you are able to see a therapist regarding these matters. There is so much to consider here. First of all you may and probably will lose your step children in this. The courts still lean towards the natural parents in these cases. Your husband sounds like he my be depressed. He may need a therapist and or medication. He could be overwhelmed by the responsiblities of providing for and raising what soon will be four children. Did he want to have another child? He may just be a selfish, man who used you to take care of his children and responsiblities. Again if ever a situation needed counseling this is it. Did you try sitting him down and telling him how you feel in a calm matter. Did you tell him you are concerned with your marriage surviving this. I saw a therapist for about four years. She told me how she had left her first husband and had planned it for over three years first. She saved money, went to school, went to a therapist, and thought it out completely before making the move. She did leave him in the end but had prepared well for the transition and was certain when she went it was the best decision for herself and her children. I was guilty of not communicating with my current husband sometimes for months at a time I wouldn't even speak to him. We both did things to damage our marriage. It wasn't until I actually filed for divorce that we opened up to each other and actually talked it out. We are now in the process of reconcilation of our marriage. I let my anger keep me from being happy. I really wish I could help you and spare you from the pain you are feeling right now. I still remember how bad it was and my daughter is 38 years old now. My advise good or bad is sit down with him. Tell him you don't know if you can go on like this. Tell him how you feel and don't use you did this and you did that. Just from the heart about how it is for you and the kids. Maybe he will open up to you and let you know his true feelings. Plan well before you decide to do anything. You may need to end this marriage but try everything first. Please keep us posted and feel free to vent here we all do and we care.