On top of all emotional rollercoaster, my new work for the next 10 weeks sucks!!!!! The kid was just diagnosed with new bunch of food allergies, so apart from milk free, gluten free, starch free, colour free, taste free bread and pasta not allowed to eat anything. I was struck by blooming kidney infection. Which left me absolutely disabled till the end of the week. All i do just sit on sofa or like a tot crawl back into a bed and feel sorry for myself.
I don't even cry anymore i just get angry at the snake and his old worm without any tears.
I wish i could get angry at myself and start rebuilding emotional bridges.

Wow! You are under a lot of stress. I can't even imagine trying to feed a kid with all of those allergies. It seems that it is true that when it rains it pours. Hope you're feeling better soon so you can begin you bridge building.

I hope you will soon be on the mend both physically and emotionally. I know when I'm not feeling well everything seems blown out of proportion. Not to say you don't have alot to deal with. You need more time to grieve your loss is all. All your hopes and dreams for the future have been destroyed by the snake and worm. You are very bright with a kind heart. If your new gentleman isn't the one someone will once again win your heart. It just takes time. Just know we care and hope you find peace. P.S. I can certainly relate to your problem with the new kid with the food alergies. My beautiful 4yr. old granddaughter is autistic and feeding her is such a challenge not because of allergies but because autistic children many times will only eat certain foods. She would only eat ham, hotdogs, and meatballs. I make a shake for her with everything in it. We have a blender which will puree anything to a liquid. I steam fresh vegetables then add fresh fruit, yogurt, toffu, avocados and orange juice then mix it with ice cream. Sounds strange but she will drink it like a shake and her overall health is good now. Keep posting we are all here for you.