Bridget, so much of what you said sounds just like my life. It was nearly 30 years for me. And though I was mostly happy, I have seen since the separation and coming divorce that all my energy went to keeping him happy. His needs. His wants. Nothing for me. I loved totally and unconditionally. He showed love as long as he was getting as much sex as he thought was necessary. Things didn't go his way, and he would be distant and mean. I know I deserve better. And as devastated as I was when he left and when I found out about the cheating, I also found a sense of freedom I have never had. It was always all about him. Everything. I hold onto that feeling of freedom, and also the fact that he went looking for someone else to screw, basically, and that has helped with my feelings and emotions toward him. I feel mostly disgust now. I find that if I don't talk to him, it really helps. I would get emotional hearing his voice, so I told him I would no longer speak with him on the phone. I didn't explain, just told him that is how it is. All I do is text him, and only when necessary. Our divorce papers are nearly done, and most things go through the lawyers. We are selling the house, so I will have to deal with him some until that is over. And like you, I am doing all the work to prepare for the selling. Ticks me off. I recommend not speaking with him and keeping contact to absolute minimum. That is how I am able to deal with this. I know it is so hard. I have days of thinking he will get his head out of his @ss one day, but then I know I wouldn't want him back. I could never trust him again. You have to know that is true for you, too. I am sorry for your pain. I really know how it is.