Asking for help has been very hard for me as well. After the divorce I moved 130 miles away and needed a lot of help with getting everything moved. I'm now living near my daughter and she and her family have been wonderful. They actually ask me why I didn't ask for help when I've moved a heavy piece of furniture. When I said I was looking for a handyman to hire, her family pitched in wherever they could.
This is so completely opposite of what I am used to. My ex did nothing at all for me. I had a reaction to prednisone where I went temporarily blind in my right eye. My left eye already had a problem, so it was extremely difficult to see. My ex wouldn't even go to the bank! Every time I got in the car I prayed nobody would get hurt. It was a terrible time.
But to answer your question, yes, I do have a hard time asking for help.

Dear Becky, People who care about us feel so helpless to deal with our heartache and pain. It usually gives them great comfort to help us in any way they can. This is not weakness to ask for help but actually a sign of strength. I am sure you return the favors ten fold. You are an amazing women and that is not going to change ever. Take the help and ask for the help if you need it. Everyone needs help during their lives. Go get a great life you deserve it!

Hi Becky,

To ask for help is not a sign of becoming dependent on others; it shows that you use your judgment. You know when you need help and when you don't. When people needed your help and asked for it, did you think they were not independent? I believe you didn't. Your family and friends are there for you, so get the help and support you need, and feel good that you will be there for them when they need help.


"To Our Inner Peace"
Mai Bordelon :)
The Coach for Divorced Women
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Asking for help is so difficult for me. it makes me feel shamed that I can not do something for myself. I do have to learn that it is not a weakness tho. It is not good to be to proud. Everyone needs help sometimes. Sometimes a lot sometimes a little. It is interesting tho how asking for help both physically and emotionally (I tend to hide my feelings and pretend to be strong) has brought me closer to my friends, neighbors, church, and family. It has also showed me who my true 100% friends are (as some of them were un expected). Nowadays people that will do something for free are few and far between but those who do have the hearts of angels and really are a blessing to our world.

Crystal,

I totally agree with you that during our divorce we find out who our true friends really are. There were some friends that just went along with my ex and his girlfriend and maybe called me once or twice and then couldn't care less and then their were neighbors and people I never expected that were right there for me when I needed them the most and never asked. "A storm really weathers out the true friends." I think after going through this divorce it helped me become better at finding good friends and knowing what to look for. I also learned not to always make conclusions about someone until you have walked through a storm with them. Divorce sure opens the eyes of those who really want to see, but the blind, like my ex and others, hang on to the blindness because it gets them what they want in life.

Susan