Remember that it is not a race. It might seem like it but it really isn't. He has "moved on" because he had her in the wings. You are at "do not pass go". He had a big head start. The reason he looks so happy and is on the websites and smiles so big in the pictures is because she made him smile so big. It is all her. She is wanting so desperately to validate their relationship. She knows what is going on now and what happened between them is wrong. If it makes you feel any better, she most likely does not trust him any way and thus the big public display. They are probably joined at the hip out of her desperation and worry. I would not want to be her.

Focus on you not him. These men are their own worst enemies. He will run out of money soon. It gets expensive to maintain 2 households and wine and dine a girlfriend. Then we will see how pretty she will smile when she has to clip coupons and they do not go out to eat every night. And too remember she is not getting anyone that great to begin with. She is getting your leftovers and that cannot be that wonderful.

I think sooner than you think you will not even worry about him at all because you will be so busy with your bigger and better life.

SAM

I'm picking up on a different part of your post. You said it's costing you so much for the divorce because he's not communicating with the attorney. Is there a reason you need that divorce to be done soon? He has a wedding coming up in 6 months. It seems to me like this just put YOU in the driver's seat. If you wait him out, he will eventually become desparate for the divorce so he can remarry. Then you can ask for what you want, and he either gives it to you or has to postpone his wedding. This could be fun.

I actually am so sorry you had to see that on google. It is one thing to think about these things but another to actually see them. I love the idea of just putting up road blocks as well to the divorce. This could be his undoing if he just drops the ball and doesn't process the divorce. You must however protect your assets. Do not leave one dime on the table for the OW!!!!!!!!! Let him start doing the work on this after all he is the one who wants to get married again right. Maybe not. Maybe this would be his safety net to get out of it at the last minute if he wasn't yet divorced. I agree this could be intertaining. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Can your lawyer request he pay part of your attorney fee's? Mine was going to ask the court for this. If it costs him not you he may get busy. Just don't let him steal what is yours! You are a very beautiful person and he will find this out in the end! Stay off his google site! Don't waste your time with him any more. This is just a mirage. Real life is going to come calling on him sooner or later. I will pray for your happiness and peace of mind.

Thanks Ladies,
I did protect myself. I will be getting our home, bank account, my husband agreed to pay off our home equity loan(50,000) & has been paying me 3,000 in alimony monthly. I believe it is guilt money or he consented for fear of me outing him as he is in the military & has a contract job in Afghanistan requiring security clearance. I certainly dont think his fiance would feel secure knowing he was having phone sex with one woman & at the same time advertising himself on the Ashley Madison site unbeknownst to me & having sex with me. The @%&*$ thing is my husband is now making 200,000 a year. Ironically when he inherited this job, our marriage ended, I believe not a coincidence. The current OW is innocent in the mix. He got together with her after we seperated & started divorce proceedings. GOD knows I cant imagine what he told her about me, certainly not the morally bankrupt behavior he engaged in.
My husband hasnt fulfilled his legal obligation as it appears he has spent his time while in the States vacationing what appears to be all over the world. I have accrued unneccesary lawyer fees by continually waiting on him. His lawyer recently told my lawyer that she may petition to terminate their agreement b/c of his persistant lack of response to her emails. I am stilll getting the monthly alimony but at an emotional toll as I need closure & feel I wont get this until our divorce is finalized. I was upset as to what I saw online but it validated the fact that I need to take him to court for breech of contract & payment of my legal fees if it continues. Thanks for listening ladies & your kind thoughts.