My money is on you! Set those goals, then reward yourself when you reach them. Plan something special for you to do when you have gone through the week without contacting him. Let us know how it's going.

I just so much want to contact him right now and yell a him for what i had to do today. I sold one of my beautiful horses and if was very hard. I cried through the whole thing. I just wnat him to feel some of this pain.

I know how you feel. I had to leave my dog with my ex because I couldn't handle him on a leash. He was my 90 pound lap dog. I love him and miss him every day. He was my buddy through all the rough times.

That is what amazes me the most about these men. How they can seem to care during the marriage, but then when another woman comes into the picture, how they can just shut down so fast on any feelings, if any, they had for us and how they can just choose to walk out of a family hurting their children so much. My ex never saw how much he hurt those boys of ours. They were to afraid to show him and he was to busy trying to get everyone to adjust to what he wanted in life. What selfish, selfish men they all really are.

Susan

My boys hide their true feeling from Jerk as well. It is so frustrating. I want him to know what he has destroyed, but he never will.

My ex always like to say, "if they have a problem with this they can tell me" and of course neither of the kids wants to talk to him about anything much less this. So his feelings are, well they never said anything so they don't care what I did. What happens to these guys???

I just don't get it. Time and time again we read how someone is divorcing a man that is so much different than the man they married. We aren't talking about people that fell into lust young and rushed into marriage. We are talking about strong, stable relationships. If I 'had' to do what they have done to be happy...I guess I wouldn't be "happy." There are things that are just flat wrong.

The problem is, he doesn't care. I don't mean to be cold, but when I explode at Jerk it may make him mad, but sad...no way. He doesn't care how I feel, he doesn't care what I have to go through. As long as it doesn't affect his blissful life it doesn't matter to him. In my case Jerk has done things to TRY to get a reaction from him. My best way to handle him...no react. When he doesn't see me sad, doesn't see me angry, when I treat him no better than the stray cats in the barn (wait, I take that back. I give the stray cats scraps) it drives him insane. So I treat him with indifference. He asks questions and I respond with 1 or 2 words. OK. Fine. Whatever. Why do you wnat to know? Yep. Nope. So. Drives him insane. Hang in there. We care.

Dear Bridget, Everything I have read and heard about moving on states no contact. Do you have someone, anyone who you can call when you feel the urge to call him? This would be like a sponsor similar to AA. You need someone to talk to whenever you need. You could post here and we would try and help you through that time. He may just miss you to if you don't contact him at all. You need to start building a life without him. You need to grieve more. The lost hasn't ended for you because you are the one left to deal with all the heartbreaking decisions and deeds to do. I'm really so sorry about your animals I know this is also like losing your husband. You sound like your not ready yet to let go and it's OK to do it on your own time table. Just try and guard your heart more. I know you can do this and not contact him. When you do it just causes you more pain. He has hardened his heart and you can't get through to him. Please don't give him any more chances to hurt you. We care so let us be here for you in your darkest moments.

Thank you all so much. My biggest problem is the strongest feelings of missing him come at about 3 a.m. and all my friends are sleeping because they work. I do post on here sometimes during that time but I don't get anyone telling me to not do anything!!! So far so good. I know it just hurts me more but I just don't know how to stop the feelings. I am working on it and I really appreciate all the support I get from you ladies. Thank you all.

Tell ya what, Bridget. You e-mail me a beckiejop@yahoo.com and we'll "chat." I'll provide you that lifeline anytime day or night. Make sure I know by the subject line it's you.

Thanks Becky, I just sent you an email.
You are all so kind and I certainly am glad I found this site. It is so nice to now we are not in this alone.