All my animals are pets just for pleasure. I had my ferrier take her to his barn to show prospective buyers but when these people got serious I had to be there to answer questions and sign the papers over to them. I had her for 5 years and it was terrible handing her over to someone, one of my other horses I have had for 13 years and it will just kill me when she goes. She is now 20 years old. I have little pygmy goats and just the two horses left now. It is so hard even taking care of them everyday because when I see them I know they will be gone soon enough. I love my animals and they have been great comfort during all of this mess, now it feels like I am betraying them after all the comfort they gave me.

I understand what you are saying, Bridget, but you aren't just dumping them somewhere. You are obviously working to find good homes for them. As much as we love our pets and bond with them, there are others out there with just that much love to give. It won't be the same care, but they will be well cared for. Our house dog we got from a family that wasn't able to keep him. He was 3 when we got him. I don't doubt that he was well loved, but I also know he is loved beyond all by my boys now. My boys needed him when he came into our lives. I believe there was a power from above helping make this match. Maybe your pets have a calling and will help someone else just as they have helped you. Hang in there.

I am so sorry for all you are going through. I am losing the life I had as well. My husband had an affair with another HR manager where he worked. I was desperate and stayed moving to a new location to support his career. One month after the move both my parents were diagnosed with cancer. I moved from them to support his career, 8 years prior. Now my kids are teenagers and want to stay with their dad because he is fun and makes all the money. I quit my job where I made 45,000 a year to raise and homeschool the kids. Now I make maybe 12,000 a year and have been accepted to Nursing school, but fear I will become too emotional to do my studies. It is hard being a mom and lose the love of your kids. They see me as less than their father because he is so successful in their eyes. But after reading your story I see there is a lot of hurt everywhere. It does not seem fair what we are going through. All we can do is pray for the strength to get through. I will pray for you and all the other women hurting. Maybe it will help us be stronger.

Bridget, I feel so much like you. How I want him to suffer as much as I did when he left. Someday they will get what they have coming. I really believe that. I am so sorry for you having to lose your dear animals. I know how precious they are. My pets have always been like my kids. You are having such a tough time, but know we are praying for you, and it does get easier.

Bonnie, how awful that your kids have abandoned you. I am so sorry. I bet one day soon, they will see who he has become and decide that maybe they have made a wrong choice. Know my prayers are with you.

Bonnie,

You will be in my prayers as well. I have an older cousin who went through the same thing with her children and a friend told her let her kids go if there is no other choice and in time they will return. She said she had a hard time believing this friend because she had a husband who seemed to offer more, in the children's eyes, just as your ex. But one by one all her children returned because the grass on the other side was not as green as they thought.

So my cousin gave me this same message because my ex has all the money, takes all the trips and can offer more material things than I can right now and I was worried at first as well. My ex even told them when they were old enough they could come and live with him and his girlfriend. I don't worry anymore. If they ever chose to go. I will be waiting right here for them and letting them know how much I love them and that I will always be here with an open door.

Just keep letting your children know how much you love them and if they do choose to live with their father for a time, let then know that you will miss them and that there will always be an open door. I know it is a painful thought to feel as if you are losing your children, but you will always be their mom and they will see that in time.

Divorce seems to make everyone choose sides whether we want it to or not...the best thing you can do for your children is to keep things as neutral as possible and not let them feel as if they have to choose sides whether they do or not. After all, they are children and they do lose sight of what is best and sometimes a spouse can use this to play against another spouse. It is not right, but it does happen. You are in my prayers and so are your children. Have faith in what you have taught them and in time, I know they will grow to see the truth.

Susan

Bridget - I am so sad for what you are going through. I also have 2 dogs that are still with me because he had nowhere for them to go when he left, not that I would have let him take them. They are my only source of comfort when I get home from a long day at work, they are always there to greet me with a wagging tail and a happy doggy face. They make all the difference between getting out of bed and not! I have to take care of them so I have to keep going, they didn't choose for him to leave, he did it all on his own! Selfish, self absorbed, lying, cheats, I think this covers it all, except for adulterers! thats the one that hits home to me. He comes to the house plays with the dogs for 5 minutes and pretends to care about them, they couldn't care less if he was there or not and it shows. His loss, I will never let him have them as he would not take proper care of them.

I would rather give them to a good home rather than let him have them if I have to give them up at all. It is very expensive to have 2 very large dogs, but at the end of the day they have been the only loyal members of the household who never left me. Unconditional love is what I get from them and your sadness in losing your beautiful horses and other animals makes me want to come and get them myself.

Take heart knowing at least you didn't ABANDON them like he ABANDONED your lives together, COWARDS the lot of them! Pity we couldn't marry our dogs!!! :)

You are so right. My animals don't care what I look like or how I feel. They are there for me no matter what. If only the animals could teach these selfcentered men how to act. When I am at my worst i just go out in the field and my old mare (20+) always comes and finds me and I just put my arms around her and cry. She stands still as long as I need her to, she seema to understand. Also my yellow lab is always at my side and I know he knows when I am really down because he seems much more attentive and brings me thigns, shoes, toys, what ever he finds. If only they could talk, boy would we have some good conversations.
I have always said animals and kids are the best judge of character, well my animals have always been much more attached to me than they ever were with him.

It just makes me so angry that we, the ones that did not cheat and lie, we have to lose so much and they just walk out into a new life. We are left to pick up the pieces. Like so many on here have said before, they will get what is comming to them, I just wish it would hurry up and I could be there to see it.
Thank you all for the kind words and understanding. You are the best. And by the way I wish they had spell check on here!!!!