Bonnie,

You will be in my prayers as well. I have an older cousin who went through the same thing with her children and a friend told her let her kids go if there is no other choice and in time they will return. She said she had a hard time believing this friend because she had a husband who seemed to offer more, in the children's eyes, just as your ex. But one by one all her children returned because the grass on the other side was not as green as they thought.

So my cousin gave me this same message because my ex has all the money, takes all the trips and can offer more material things than I can right now and I was worried at first as well. My ex even told them when they were old enough they could come and live with him and his girlfriend. I don't worry anymore. If they ever chose to go. I will be waiting right here for them and letting them know how much I love them and that I will always be here with an open door.

Just keep letting your children know how much you love them and if they do choose to live with their father for a time, let then know that you will miss them and that there will always be an open door. I know it is a painful thought to feel as if you are losing your children, but you will always be their mom and they will see that in time.

Divorce seems to make everyone choose sides whether we want it to or not...the best thing you can do for your children is to keep things as neutral as possible and not let them feel as if they have to choose sides whether they do or not. After all, they are children and they do lose sight of what is best and sometimes a spouse can use this to play against another spouse. It is not right, but it does happen. You are in my prayers and so are your children. Have faith in what you have taught them and in time, I know they will grow to see the truth.

Susan

Bridget - I am so sad for what you are going through. I also have 2 dogs that are still with me because he had nowhere for them to go when he left, not that I would have let him take them. They are my only source of comfort when I get home from a long day at work, they are always there to greet me with a wagging tail and a happy doggy face. They make all the difference between getting out of bed and not! I have to take care of them so I have to keep going, they didn't choose for him to leave, he did it all on his own! Selfish, self absorbed, lying, cheats, I think this covers it all, except for adulterers! thats the one that hits home to me. He comes to the house plays with the dogs for 5 minutes and pretends to care about them, they couldn't care less if he was there or not and it shows. His loss, I will never let him have them as he would not take proper care of them.

I would rather give them to a good home rather than let him have them if I have to give them up at all. It is very expensive to have 2 very large dogs, but at the end of the day they have been the only loyal members of the household who never left me. Unconditional love is what I get from them and your sadness in losing your beautiful horses and other animals makes me want to come and get them myself.

Take heart knowing at least you didn't ABANDON them like he ABANDONED your lives together, COWARDS the lot of them! Pity we couldn't marry our dogs!!! :)

You are so right. My animals don't care what I look like or how I feel. They are there for me no matter what. If only the animals could teach these selfcentered men how to act. When I am at my worst i just go out in the field and my old mare (20+) always comes and finds me and I just put my arms around her and cry. She stands still as long as I need her to, she seema to understand. Also my yellow lab is always at my side and I know he knows when I am really down because he seems much more attentive and brings me thigns, shoes, toys, what ever he finds. If only they could talk, boy would we have some good conversations.
I have always said animals and kids are the best judge of character, well my animals have always been much more attached to me than they ever were with him.

It just makes me so angry that we, the ones that did not cheat and lie, we have to lose so much and they just walk out into a new life. We are left to pick up the pieces. Like so many on here have said before, they will get what is comming to them, I just wish it would hurry up and I could be there to see it.
Thank you all for the kind words and understanding. You are the best. And by the way I wish they had spell check on here!!!!