Dear bridget, You have overcome the most terrible adversities in your lifetime. You are really a monument to us all of what makes a strong surviving women. The most important thing right now is to safe guard your health! Stress can impact you. Your heart break never seems to end. I am so saddened each time you have to part with your pets one by one. God will not abandon you Bridget. I know it seems as though he has making you suffer so much lose in your life. The first thing is to end your emotional attachment to the ex. This is a painful and long process. It is as if you have to die and be born again. A marriage as long as yours is your life time. I know these men who betray their wives after a lifetime together shake our whole foundations of life. It makes us feel as if there is never any security in life and everything is just smoke and mirrors. I have grown more since I filed for divorce than in my whole 62 years of life. I have had to dig deep into my soul and learn to love me enough to decide enough was enough. It is and has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! My situation pales in comparison to yours Bridget. I guess it all boils down to making it through that one day at a time. In a perfect world a lovely couple will buy the farm and befriend you and allow you to visit when you wish to and keep your beloved animals. This is the perfect world and I pray God gives you this. Just don't contact the ex and know at any time we are here for you.

Thank you so much Kathleen, You know when each devistating happened I would think Ok I got through that now I am done, I have had enough. Well evidently God thinks I am stronger than I think I am because he just seems to be seeing how much I can take. I am so thankful for my sons and grandkids, if not for them being on this earth I truly don't know if I have come through this so far. I know I have a long way to go and I know I will be ok in the end. I just hate that fact that I have to change my life all because of one selfish jerk. It makes me so mad.
I am now in the process of deciding if I want to go through reconstruction surgery or not. I will be 62 this month and some days just think, why bother? I was one of the lucky ones and only lost half of one breast but I am pretty lopsided now.
Stress certainly can do quite a bit to your health. I have been having so many problems due to lack of sleep. I am not on more drugs than I have ever been on in my life. I always have to take pills for my liver disease and will for the rest of my life but that is better than the alternative. I take antidepressents for anxiety and actually they help with hot flashes!!! I also have high blood pressure and it is not getting any lower with all this mess. Now the doc gave me some heavy duty sleeping pills and I took the last one last night. I have been sleeping better this past 5 days so that helps. He wont give me more he just wanted my system to reset. He also gave me more antidepressents to add to the others. On top of all that I do have a UTI. I know I have to get the stress out of my life but that is easier said than done. Tomorrow I start a new part time job and I hope that helps. Untill the farm and animals are all gone I can't move on so knowing I still have to sell all of that (and I love this farm so much) there will be more stress with each piece that leaves. These so called men just make me so angry. They just walk out and don't see what the big deal is. He still wants me to be his friend and talk to him when ever HE wants. I have been good to my word and have not contacted him in the past 4 days. It is a start. Thank you again for your kind words. It is sad that there are so many of us in here at our age going through the same thing.

Dear Bridget, I would like to way in on being in favor of the reconstruction surgery if it is not going to put your health at risk. I am your exact age 62 and I know for myself I would have to do it. This would be for me and no one else. 62 is the new 42 you know. I think it might make you feel better to do something just for you. I am still very sexual and can't see that changing anytime soon. I know my mom still has sex and she's 81. Her husband is 12 year younger than her and she is very very well preserved. You hopefully will meet someone else in your life. I'm sure if they love you it isn't going to matter to them but I think it will matter to you. So if you feel up to it why not? I to am so greatful for my family! My oldest daughter is my rock and she is also a lawyer which doesn't hurt. My husband and I are on the long road to reconcilation. I was so lucky that I am one of the few on this site who isn't dealing with infidelity. My sex drive greatly exceeds my husbands so I don't think sex is his main concern. I'm really thrilled about the part time job! It will get you away in touch with people and give you an excuse to doll up alittle. I really wish there was some way to save your farm. Are you still making payments on it? Is it just to much for you to do by yourself? Could you keep part of it by sub-dividing it? Do you really need the money to live on? You must be or almost can collect social security. I hope you had a lawyer in this divorce. It sounds like you didn't fair very well? If I've asked to personal of questions please feel free not to answer. I just hate to see you have to give up on something you love so much! The bottom line though in all this is you and your well being. Take the best care of yourself you can. Don't worry about the pills. Someday you can probably cut down to just the liver meds and maybe the blood pressure meds. Just know you are valued so much on this site for your wisdom and caring. I will pray for God to leave you alone is you know what I mean. Keep up the good work in not calling the ex I am so PROUD of you. Just one minute, hour, day, week, month,year, life at a time Bridget. You are getting there. Just look at what you all by yourself have accomplished! You are an amazing women.

Kathleen you are a good person. I do not pay the mortgage on the farm, he does. But, he will only do that for a while then he will force me to turn it over to a realator. Right now I am selling it by myself to same the money I would have to pay the realator. So far he is ok with this. My kids don'tw ant me to stay here alone, I hate living alone also. One son it in Juneau Alaska and the other one is in Mobile Alabama!! I asked them if they could get any further away from eachother. They both want me to come live by them so right now I am thinking of spending the summer in Alaska and winter in Alabama. My son in Alabama has two kids, my wonderful 3 and 5 year old grandkids. I do want to see more of them but I hate that I have to change my life because he couldn't keep it in his pants more than once. And she is no prize, divorced twice, cheated on my ex years ago and wears more make-up than any ten women I know added together.
After I get settled in this new job I will rethink the reconstruction again. There is no time limit on that.
By the way I still have not contacted my ex...one day at a time.

Dear Bridget, Bravo to you my dear in not contacting the ex! I know you can do this! I know my grandkids are my whole world now. The relationship that we build with them follows them their whole lives. I am very involved with mine especially my beautiful
4yr old autistic baby girl. I stay with the therapist in the morning and take her to her school in the afternoons. I pick her sister up from school and take her to Karate or dance and help with homework. My days are very full and busy. It helped me alot while my husband and I were in crisis mode. I think that is really going to be your best bet! It will get you far away from the ex. I've heard there is a shortage of women still in Alaska. Nothing wrong with raising the odds. The sooner you can sell the farm the better I guess. Did you get awarded any spousal support? I live in California and I would have gotten it for life ( I was married 37 years) unless my husband retired which is what he will be doing either this year or next. It sounds like you have a concrete plan and hopely you'll not even care about the ex any longer. How long do these men think these women are going to stay around once the money isn't there anymore. That is going to be their problem and they deserve it!!!!! You know I've been told you can still homestead in Alaska. I don't know if that is true but you might be able to get something going there also. You will have the best of both worlds going back in forth between your son's. I'm sure they can use your help as well. Bridget try and stay busy and stay strong. You can do this. We are all praying for you!