Dear Jo, I think it is time for you to take control of this situation! It is not your job to cover your husband's back. It appears he is really gone for good. This seperation has been a very long one. In your position I would file for a divorce myself. This would give you the upper hand. Unless there is some great benefit to you financially why wait any longer. He may be using part of your assets to take care of the other women. You may get spousal support. It is time to play hard ball with this man. Why make it so easy on him? If he doesn't have so much money to throw at the OW how long do you think a women 15 years younger is going to stick around. The healing will come sooner rather then later if you can end this relationship. This speaks to his character and he is by far not nearly a good enough man to waste the rest of your life over!!!!!!
Most of the women here can tell you that delaying has cost them both emotionally and financially. Who cares what people think of him. He is a bad man, period. He should have to reap what he sowed. You have come to the right place for support. These women on this site are family and they can understand what you are going through. We are all here for you to reach out to when you need us. I am so sorry about your son leaving maybe he knows what is coming and needs to get away from the pain himself. This may be a way of sparing him some of the day to day hurt. After all your husband has not just betrayed you he has betrayed his whole family and son as well. You have taken the high road and kept your dignity and that is priceless. I sold insurance for over 30 years. I had many clients who I watched their lives unfold. So many of these cheating husbands did get their's in the end. One man left his wife for his much younger secretary and when he got ill she headed for the hills. His children had disowned him for what he did to their mother and he died by himself with no one to care. Another man left his wife and married again a much younger women. He was in his 50's and developed Alzheimers. He and his new wife had just purchased a beautiful new home.
He poured into it all the monies he had gotten from the sale of the family home. Well guess what the new wife abandoned him and left him on his own. Guess who ended up with the beautiful new home? That's right, the new wife. His ex wife mind you took him into her home and cared for him until he died. I asked her why she would do this and she said it was for the love of her children. She knew it would fall on them if she didn't do it and could not bear for them to have to deal with it. She is one of the finest women I have ever known! Just so you know sometimes something good comes of it. She meet a wonderful man who's mom also had Alzhemiers and they ended up getting happily married. My point is most of these men are eventually going to suffer for their actions. It may take along time but their times are coming. Just hang in there and you will have the last laugh.

Hi ladies and thanks for all the support. I feel like I am stuck in concrete, afraid to move. I fear losing everything I have worked for, not only my home/family/husband/identity my mind as well.

I know I have no choice, he has made this for me, this is all his doing, not mine! I can't move past the feeling of being ripped off and didn't see it coming, not for one minute. How deceiving can these men get? I don't know anymore if I do love him or just miss the US and our marriage, our commitment to each other to take care of each other, no matter what.
How did this all go so pear shaped?
I struggle each day to not contact him and all I want to do is call him and tell him to come home and sort this crap out! What does this other GIRL have that I could not give him? She doesn't even know him, yet she has chosen a married man to sleep with, fully knowing he has a wife! I have too much respect for myself, I could never sleep with another womans husband regardless of whether they were seperated or not. He is STILL MARRIED, all I can think is that she must be desperate as she is single with a child and is getting looked after by an older guy with a huge income, meal ticket I say.

I know there is nothing I can do now except keep praying for my mental stability to return and my feelings of despair to lessen. Thanks again to everyone, and I am sorry for the rant, but you all know exactly the feelings I am struggling with every minute of the day, take care.

I am so sorry for your pain. I to can't figure out if I love him still and miss him, or just miss us, or just miss being part of a couple? I truly thought he was my best friend and what these guys do to us is such a betrayel.
It is just unimaginable to me that my husband could do this to me after so long. Right up to the day I found out he would tell me he loved me. As soon as I found out he told me he hasn't loved me for over 20 years. Now he tells me that isn't true but he loves her more. I just don't understand where their morals go.
I know things will get better for all of us but it take so much time. It just seems that time crawls by and some days it is just hard to do anything, even get out of bed. that is what this site and all of us are for, eachother. And to let everyone vent all they need to. So keep venting and just put one foot in front of the other one day at a time. That is what I keep telling myself....a million times a day.
Hang in there.

Yes Jo,

I would have to agree with you. Any woman that goes after a married man with a family is desperate. Even if the man was lying. You can't tell me a woman that is secure, happy with who she is, and having any moral values would even think of taking part in the destruction of a family....ripping out the hearts of a caring wife and mother and of innocent little children. That is why these women who, betray, steal, lie...etc have blood on their hands. Not to mention, along with the husband, destroying a vow and marriage deemed holy and blessed by God. She is either desperate or is so into herself as the ex that they have no fear of God, Himself.

Either way, I'm with you, Married men are off limits. When you start to miss your husband or begin wanting him back...remember what he and this woman have done and know that you really don't deserve a man in your life like this. I know God has something better for you out there whether it is a man or a new life and you just have to get past this storm to get to the promise of a rainbow on the other side. Keep the faith and hope. You are all in my prayers.

Susan