Wow! What a blessing to have such beautiful, spirited women respond to my post. I'd been feeling so lost and alone. Your responses have helped so much. Your words of wisdom and words of encouragement remind me that I can get through this. Life throws many things at us. I've always managed to get through and survive. It's hard for me to ask for help and I have always been the friend that others have turned to during hard times. Maybe it's hard for them to see me in a weakened state or maybe they just choose not to look past my answer of "I'm fine" and see what my eyes are saying. This forum gives me the opportunity to say that I am devastated, scared, hurt, angry, etc.....

The books all tell me that in order to "divorce" myself from Rob, I'm supposed to think of all the negatives about him. I don't want to live that way. I think it would prolong my recovery process. It seems to me that being indifferent would be healthier. Is this true? Can we ever truly be indifferent? Do you ever finally come to a place where you no longer feel like a "wife"? After all these years together, I find it hard to imagine that. Still, the logical part of me knows that can't be true.

I still shake my head in disbelief that all of this has even happened. I beat myself up because I missed how truly depressed he was about his job situation. Looking back, I can see that this is the start of Rob losing himself. By mutual agreement, I did not work outside the home, although I was very busy with volunteer work and school board things. The pressure he placed on himself took its toll. Now he wants to escape from everything he once held dear and try to relive him childhood. GAG! Ladies....don't you wish we could just check out sometimes? But one parent has to be the grown-up. My friends would tell you that if they were betting people, they would have placed money on me going goofy, not him. Oh well. Today is a new day and God has got my back. I've got two sons that are so good to their Mama and I have this forum to release my heartache. I'm grateful for your responses. May we all come out of this as happier and healthier women.