My relationship and marriage started off in love....but 20 years later he selfishly walked off for some young girl. Maybe your marriage did not start in love, but perhaps this child, along with only being married for 2 years can help the both of you bond and grow into a loving relationship. It will only happen if both of you are willing to give it a try. I think you really need to sit down with your husband and lay everything out on the table.
It will not work unless you are both honest about how you feel and work together, perhaps with some family counseling as well, to hammer out your issues and see where it leads. Don't give up hope on your marriage just yet. Perhaps your husband spit out his hurtful words in anger because you hurt him with your own words a while back.
This is why communication is very important in knowing where you both stand as far as wanting to make this work. But once again, remember, it will take two of you wanting it to workout if your marriage is to have a chance and you will never know if you don't sit down with him and ask. You are in my prayers.
Dear Sarah, These ladies have given you some very wise insight into what it is going to take to make this marriage work out. Whether you are young or older it takes the same things. I am not going to lie to you it is very difficult for a young man to handle the tremendous responsiblities of being a husband and father. They mature at a slower rate then we do as women. Never, ever let words you wish you could take back come out of your mouth! Once said the damage is done as you can see. Being in love is putting your love before yourself. I am 62 and have been married over 37 yrs to my second husband. I recently filed for divorce. I have had to work harder and grow more in the last few months than I have in the whole 37 yrs of marriage. My husband and I are now working out the last details to stay together and I am going to withdraw my divorce proceedings. I had to look at myself very long and hard and realize I was just as much to blame as my husband. We are now like newlyweds. Many times winning is actually to have lost. It isn't going to be easy. You and your husband need to set some boundaries as to what is FAIR fighting. It should be constructive not destructive. You want to help lessen the pressures on him if you can. Is he the breadwinner? I would not recommend you have any other children for awhile. If this doesn't work out it will be that much harder with each child not to mention the financial stress it will place on your relationship. Trust me I've been there with my first marriage. You leave and go where. When I left I just wanted to go home to my husband. If he is basically a good man but just young you will have to try and work this out. I believe as being a more mature women we usually have to do twice the work to make the marriage work out. This will get more balanced as these young men mature. If you both can just think of the baby before you say something hurtful that would help. Just think who your really hurting in all this. Your hurting her. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family. It is all up to both of you so do your best.