Dear May, As always I believe Susan has given you the wisest advice. I have no idea how young your children are. I guess it all comes down to their father's relationship with them is his relationship and you should not bear that responsibility as well as everything else you must contend with. Are the children receiving any counseling? Sometimes an unbaised third party can help with the problems. Let them tell your ex what is in the best interest of the children. You of course need to protect the kids if he is doing something really harmful. You may try to set some boundaries with your ex. Such as tell him it is his responsiblity to deal with correcting the children when they do not behave when they are with him. I know most children I speak with don't like different rules in different households. There are so many variables here. How much time does he have with the children. It is usually a difficult undertaking to co-parent but as Susan has shown it can be done. My prayers are with you and your children. I know you are such a devoted mom and will always put your children first.