Dear Where is the light, Seven years is such a very long time to have to have lived the way you have lived. Sounds like the youngest was still a baby when this all began. It is normal to grieve the loss of anything even a bad marriage. Your little boy's will be better off with a happier mother. They are being exposed to a disfunctional example of what a family is right now. Dad leaving to live with a girlfriend. It sounds like your buying the house is your declaration of freedom from his being able to come and be abusive to you. This will be your home not your and his home. You should be proud of this monumental step you have taken. Will there finally be a divorce? This will give you the green light to find another to love. They could be a father figure for your son's as well. The feelings your having will pass. It all takes time. I wish it didn't but it does. As long as the boys father continues to stay involved in their lives this is probably the best for everyone concerned. Keep posting and our thoughts and prayers are with you.
I think you can have one of those happy marriages too and that you are taking the right steps to let that happen. You deserve to have a happy life and relationship. Your children deserve to have a happy motheer and to have the opportunity to see what a true loving, committed relationship is all about. Stay strong!
Good for you getting a new start and home. I hope to be doing that myself soon. As far as the feelings, I know what you mean. Mine come and go like that too. I am still waiting for final divorce papers so that doesn't help, but the mourning of the life I thought I was going to have continues. Some days bad, some days not so bad. Know that it's normal. You are doing the right thing moving forward with your life. Your children will adjust, and I am sure you will be able to find a good and decent man to spend the rest of your life with. One day at a time, that's how we have to go. You will make it. Let us know how you doing.