My story is probably different than most of yours but needless to say this doesn't make it any easier.
I have been married for 14 years, two kids.
My marriage has been over (for me at least) for quite some time but managed to live together somehow. I have been wanting to leave for so long but I can't. I am going to school right now as an older student to finish my degree. I have some savings but no income. I can't leave, I am trapped. I know my husband wants out too...I suppose the kids are holding him back. For years I have been giving myself away to him for sex to keep him satisfied and happy. I know this sounds horrible, and it felt horrible. I basically prostituted myself. It became less and and less until there was no sex. However, for quite some time he has been harassing me sexually. It is so bad you have no idea. I could scream. He makes sexual comments every single day and touches me although I asked him not to. I don't want sex with him anymore. I have been doing this for just too long. I am not even sure if I will ever be able to have a normal sexual relationship with ANYBODY if I ever do get a divorce. I just don't know what to do. Can anybody give advice, or has anybody been in a similar situation?
I can identify with that in some ways. There were times when I felt marriage was simply legalized prostitution. I just didn't have the same sex drive as my ex did. I think a lot of women feel this way.
Understand the being trapped - that's where I am. I know I would leave if I had earnings. The best thing I can do while trying to figure a way out for myself is to instill in my daughters that you should never not work - always have your own income. Marriage is just too disposable these days to be dependent on a man. As for the sex - sounds very degrading and that is a terrible way to live. I hope you -and I - can find a way out.
If you can't stand sex with him any longer, give him explicit permission to visit a prostitute. It sounds like you are just waiting for the right time to end your marriage. If his 'pressures' rise far enough, he may decide to end it before you are ready.