Thank all of you for your support. It is great to have a place to say what I want and someone can actually realate to what you have to say or even know what you feel.

I know it will take time to heal. This has been going on for 8 molnths already and I want it to be over. My lawyer even tolod me to not rush into anything for at least a year because of all thye shcok and change in my life. I am trying to be patient, but time goes by too quickly already and I just want to move on.

Saturday when I moved my "stuff" out of what I used to call home, my husband was there. He seems to be swo broken too. I feel sorry for him, but when I think of the things that he has done, it brings me back to reality. But I still cry for the man I thought I knew and loved. Even as i type this i am crying. I know it is ok to grieve, but I want the hurt to stop. He totally broke my heart. The thing is I know I won't ever look at him as the same person I once loved so completely because it was not real.

I feel like I am paralyzed and stuck in a place I didn't choose to be. I do know how lucky I am to have my children' support, but I still would like to have a place of my own. I am used to being organized and know where everything is, but now all of my belongings are scattered and I feel like I am not in control of my life. I'm sure it will get better with time. I am still in the process of getting the divorce over that I am not thinking clearly.

I did some couseling, but it had to stop because of the insurance. Speaking of insurance: How does one go about finding affordable health insurance? It all seems so expensive.

Well I should probably wait and asks questions a little at a time.

Life sure does give us surprizes when we least expect. This is one I would have never thought would have happened.

Please keep the advice coming because I sure could use the help. I hope I can do the same for all of you too.

Thanks again, Susie

Susie, I remember when I moved out of "our" house. It was the only time I had ever seen him look completely defeated. Now, 3 months later, the few times I talked to him it sounds like he is doing just fine. Could be he looked defeated because he no longer could control me.

About insurance and trying to find some that doesn't cost a lot, I don't know that there is any that is affordable. Until I got on Medicare I was paying over $700 a month with $2500 deductible for only me. I could really get on a soap box here and rattle on and on about how we really need insurance reform in this country, but that's probably on another forum.