I think I am just struggling right now and I don't feel like there is someone here to talk to.

I have gotten the speech of let's show our children the respect we have for one another to show our love for them several times by him. What he meant to say is make sure you show me respect always and forever because it's all about me.

No child or spousal support for three weeks now and other money owed. He bought a very expensive gift for his parents instead.

The place we live contniues to be hostile for us because of the lies he tells to make other woman feel bad for him even the one I thought was my best friend. He tells anyone, even strangers how horrible the children and myself are.

He spends all his weekends with the children at my ex-best friends house with the children pretending their relationship is good. But really the children enjoy being with their friends, and they, him and the children continue to have problems. He taunts the youngest making threats, and over steps where he should not be in public with the older.

He has asked the courts for half time all though the children do not want that, he disregards all their feeling. He tells them they are to young to have these feelings. Any feelings! They are not they are pre-teen and teen.

And the GAL involved does not see or hear any of this, everything is email viewed. I even sent a record, proof to question his mental well being to the GAL. All the problems the children and I have encoutnered roller coaster of emotions, nice and sweet in email but calls and yells at me all in the same breathe and more. The children and him are never alone they are always with someone. No response from the GAL.

I can support us better someplace else, I have a support system there and health reasons it is better but he will not allow us to relocate. But here I am waiting for support and taking his bs in all other ways.

I just found his dating post with the children's pictures included. I feel as if his profile is a big lie. Claiming to be romantic- nope, likes to read- no, enjoys movies- hates them, he lied about the number of children and said he is divorced looking for his soul mate and wants to get married.

I just want to make it through the day and have it be good. Be in that good place. I want to lay down at night and feel as if my dreams are not going to be nightmares.

When will he pay for all his wrong doings? When I feel like I am not being punished, because I have not done anything wrong.

My fault for loving him and trusting him to love me, through the good, the bad times. And then I feel like how can I have loved this man? Was this the man I married? It has left me inspecting things that were and were not.

Where is the respect he continues to talk about, I do not think it was ever there from him (after looking closely at our marriage) and now it is worse. Now it's huge and he does not to respect us, the children, me, but he certainly wants us to respect him.

May I am so sorry for what you are going through. We all have our own circomstances in here but even though they are all a bit different we are all feeling the same pain in our hearts.
There are several on this site with children still at home and they will be able to tell you how they have felt and what they have done. We are all trying to get the same thing, peace in our hearts and family and move on from the men who so heartlessly tossed us aside. We are better than that and we deserve better. Hand in there and you will see it will get better in time. I hated when everyone kept telling me that in the begining. I wanted it to get better right now! But I have learned it is a process and we all have to go through it to be able to come out ok on the other end.
This is a great place to be and connect with women who know exactly how you are feeling. Take care and keep coming back here and vent all you need to.

May, the problem with these guys...we all seem to have married some version of the same messed up male...is they are selfish and self centered. Life is supposed to revolve around them. We spend our lives meeting their needs. We have to, because their love is not like ours. We love unconditionally. They love conditionally. As long as things are going exactly as they want them to, they are loving. So all our energy has gone into the marriage and making sure they are happy. But it's somehow not enough for them. They want new and exciting, so they go find someone else. They walk out and toss us aside like trash.

It hurts. I know it does. We rack our brain trying to figure out what we did wrong. We did nothing to cause this. We loved them and they chose to walk away, because they think there is something better out there. And for a while, while it is new and exciting, they will be happy. But soon they will crash. A new relationship is not the answer, but they are too dumb to know it. Because where ever they go and whatever they do--they are still there! They are the problem in their own lives, and they don't get it.

You are an amazing woman and mom. You will get through this. We all will. Step by step we will get stronger and we will hold each other up along the way. Hang in there!

Hi there!

I just want you to know I feel exactly the same way. I was married 19yrs and have 2 kids. After all these years he had an affair. I feel like how long have i been living with the enemy? was this the man i married? how did i not see this? i pride myself on thinking i have a good judge of character-what went wrong? everything is about him and he tries to act like this great guy but in reality he is a lair, cheater and thief. i struggle everyday with my new reality. i have been a stay at home mom, no job, how can i do this? so many unanswered questions, so many unknowns!!! i just pray that god has a different plan for me. that some how i will be better for this and some how HE WILL NOT BE BETTER FOR THIS. i truly believe in karma. it just has to come back and bite him, it just has TOOO!!! i will talk to you any time..

May, I am so sorry for what you are going through because of the man you trusted and loved. I know how rotten that feels. You have been there for me with good advice and I wish I could say something to help you feel better. Please just know that, like the others here, I am avalable to listen and I do understand your pain. I believe that we will get through this, really as moms we have no choice but to carry on for our children. Mine are grown but they still need me, they need a sense of family, now more than ever because of the father's betrayal of our FAMILY. How can they think they are only hurting us when in reality they are killing a family. Like Stacy I hope that Kharma is real. I have seen it in action a couple times in my life. I love my husband, I do not wish him to suffer for the rest of his life but I do hope that he comes to truly understand and regret the enormity of the WRONG he has done to me and our family. I hope yours will too.

Rest assured, they will have consequences for their actions. It says so in the Bible: You reap what you sow. And they all seem to think it's just between the two of us, but the ripples go out way farther into the family than they ever imagined.

Ladies thank you for listening and listening, it does help. Thank you for being available when I am in need.