I've been separated for 16 months and filed for divorce last August. I've been married 22 years. My STBX is a narcisist (spell?), compulsive liar, porn addict, had mutiple affairs on-line, most recently had an affair with another mother at the high school, he lives with her now and did i mention he financially ruined me. I have three kids, two over 18 who will not speak to him(he blames me for turning them against him)and one younger child who he sees a few times a week when him and his girlfriend like to play house. He provides no child support and keeps threatening that he is going to get 50/50 custody but still has not responded to the divorce petition or got a lawyer. He never held a good job and was unemployed most of the last year before we separated. But, he spend MANY hours volunteering at the high school and for our city because he likes people to think he is a a great guy. I know he lies about me and trys to say I was a terrible wife and tried to control him. The truth is, he drove me to the end of my rope and I wanted to end my life. I don't know how I'm going to make it but I will! I thought I was alone..and did not deserve any betterh. I tried to protect my kids from divorce. I can't take it back now but I wish I would have done it a long time ago. VYE
You are in the right place. This site is a god send and the women on here are truly wonderful to talk to, vent with or what ever you need.
We will all come out of this better and stronger but it is not fun getting to that place.
Hang in there and come on her and vent anytime. We are all feeling the same pain and misery.
Vye, I think most of us could agree that this is not the life we expected to live. After 30 years, I never thought my husband would go looking for someone else and leave me for her. After the shock and hysteria settled, I started taking care of me. Something I never did in my marriage. It was always all about him. I have two grown daughters, 23 and 28 who will not speak to their dad either. One day they may decide to have a relationship with him, or they may not. They are adults and will make that choice. My stbx has not accused me of turning them against him to me, but I am sure friends and family get an interesting story from him.
I hear you on the narcissist and compulsive liar bit. Sounds an awful lot like my own stbx. In my experience however, I have found the lies will get found out someday and people will side with you when they find out they may not come out and say it but they will think it and likely not take him as seriously. Hang in there. This site is a great support.