Perhaps, you should consider, doing at least part time job, just to fulfill your time.
I always suggest people to go back to work, maybe because, my work is the only place where i find myself NOT LONELY. However, have to be really honest, I've not got much friends at work as I'm there, as some would call, "the bit£h you would like to hate".

I do have a job but I have summers off. I did put myself on two dating sites but I havent been brave enough to pay and actually be able to talk to anyone yet. I spent my entire marriage with the feeling of rejection. If I would have been enough he would not have done what he did. I dont feel that way now but I also do not want more rejection and sitting and waiting for someone to email me and feeling that rejection again if no one does. I am afraid. I think I would even do well with just making friends, men or women. It hurts to know that he has someone in his life. I dont begrudge him that, at least I dont think I do, but it seems weird to me that he has a new (old) girlfriend and I am alone. It doesnt seem right does it? Not that I am any better then he is, it just seems unfair. But then again so does every story on this site. Most times I do really well but some days are hard. I have been in a hard place since I have decided that him being in my life is not a good thing. I know I am right but it is still hard letting go completely. I know I will make it, I am just not liking God's time line for me.

Hi Dina-

I am a quiet and personal person too, extremely quiet, once I had friends, before him. My soon to be ex always one upped me in the social aspect of things even when I asked him to back off and allow me to make friends.

I also work in a school and am dreading summer even thou I love summer, I feel lonely.

I have found a website- www.meetup.com, they have tones of different social groups, everything and anything. It took me some time to become brave enough but once I decided I just did it. I found a group that interested me and participated in one of the activities. It was nice to be with other people. The group I became part of was a seperated, divorced group. Since I have also found other interesting groups, movies, children groups, art, music, etc I am not into clubbing anymore either.

I am looking into different churches to go to again. I was part of a great church that related the bible to life stories. All thou I am not a religous person I found this to be comforting, the stories, the people, community. I will find one I like away from him with new friends. I do not agree with everything but for me that is okay. The stories make me think about making good choices, to be a good person, give instead of take, and just ask when you need to.

I have created a facebook, slow, slow steps with that. I have connected with a few old friends and I know that we are different people now but they would be there for me if I needed them. I have some new friends and reconnected with family that I have not seen in years.

I have also just asked someone from work to go out and have a coffee one day. This I am convinced happened for a reason, she turned out to be my angel when I needed one most.

And yes there are dating web-sites. I am not there yet. I came across his profile on a web-site and it was him but not him. All the things he disliked he says he liked on the dating web-site. And maybe not all men are liars I just am not there yet to trust.

And there is this web-site. I have found comfort in this web-site.

For me interaction, face to face relationships with people are important. I want friends and do not want to feel lonely so I am going to continue to move forward. I want a few good friends in my life again.

I hope some of this is helpful.

And remember leave a post anytime here, all these wonderful ladies will be here.

Girl, I think we are in the same boat when it comes to the way we feel about his new person. I just found out my ex has been seeing someone. bad part is I SAW them today in his truck on my way home from work. Seeing is SO much harder then hearing. I have been an emotional wreck all night. Thought I was so over him but he decided to have a break down and tell me how much he still loves me and how he wishes he could take me back but knows its too late. Saying that I didnt want to try again no matter how we felt was like slamming a nail in place and it hurt bad. Then seeing him move on hurt worse.
It is intimidating as hell to look at the blank slate in front of you and take that first step to move forward and fill it with new life plans, but you just have to do it. pick something. remind yourself that the worst thing that can happen is someone isnt interested, or you dont like the new activity you chose to get involved in. Guess what....you arnt emotionally involved yet, so you just erase it and start over. There is something almost liberating about knowing you dont HAVE to answer to anyone or anything but yourself and god. Trust yourself and God will hold you up on your way.

I SO, understand, Dina: I was married to an abuser for 31 years. The last thing I wanted to do was gt a divorce....For the past 7 years I have lived with the loniness (even tho I have a job, family, and am in school); there is nothing that replaces a partner (no matter how bad), so what can you do?
You can volunteer (nursing homes have so many lonely people, and some never have a visitor).......if you have things you like specifically....hobbies; you could join an organization.......make new friends, etc.....there is a whole word out there; we just have to have courage and go out and make another life for ourselves.

I wrote a poetry book called Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration) and wrote a poem called, Loneliness.......if you e-mail me: carleton@oakland.edu, I will send you a copy, if you wish. Hugs