I SO, understand, Dina: I was married to an abuser for 31 years. The last thing I wanted to do was gt a divorce....For the past 7 years I have lived with the loniness (even tho I have a job, family, and am in school); there is nothing that replaces a partner (no matter how bad), so what can you do?
You can volunteer (nursing homes have so many lonely people, and some never have a visitor).......if you have things you like specifically....hobbies; you could join an organization.......make new friends, etc.....there is a whole word out there; we just have to have courage and go out and make another life for ourselves.

I wrote a poetry book called Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration) and wrote a poem called, Loneliness.......if you e-mail me: carleton@oakland.edu, I will send you a copy, if you wish. Hugs