NO, you are NOT failing!!!!
Failing are these idiot husbands, who don't even have the heart, to care enough...
I am happy I found this site..
My girlfriends and family are sooo tired of hearing about my husband...
You did NOT and are NOT failing.. HE IS!!!!
My husband has a step-son (my son).. who his biological dad died in October,2000.
Any noraml human-being would Think, hey... the man would atleast acknowledge my poor son, especially since his dad is in Heaven...
My thoughts on what you wrote, is don't put up with his b*ll****..
if he can't keep appointments to see the girls, then if it were me, I'd cut him off...
My son just turned 16-years-old..
But when his dad was alive, I was the same way, because it effects the child, and disappoints the child..
You are one of us STRONG women, and You are benifiting by being the one who gets to Enjoy and Cherish your babies young years...
he , and most men, have no clue to what they are missing out on..
CHILDREN ARE THE BEST THING TO US MOMS IN THE WORLD:)
and if the dads are toooo blind to see that.. ohwell!!!:) ;)
I know its hard..but ask yourself..
is it you too, that wants to see him in your babaies lives..??..
Because us wives can NOT change a man.. noNO woman can, and shouldn't have to!:)
At times, I wish he and I would have concieved a child, so I can have strength to "dislike" him and move-on faster..
Because if anyone was to disregard or disrespect my child/his own child, that would give me the motivation I need...
I feel that way, because I used to feel like all the other wives with their child's father 'alive'.. when my son's dad past away, I have a new perspective..
So, now, I am hurting too..
But in different ways...
Wish and pray for the best for you ..
and Just remember: there ARE other wives out there, FEELING the SAME thing, and hurting the same ways, and Questioning: their lives, childrens, and the "ignorant husbands"...
And WHY we care about People in general, ESPECIALLY if its our husbands, if we care as to WHY they doNOT care about US... its because: WE have love and a soul/heart...
So no, THEY Failed..
NOT Us:)(:
Dear Lynda, I would like to weight in with those who have recommended a therapist. Some children just have life adjustment problems in general. Please realize your super human efforts as a mom. You can try your best but you can't be her dad. Is there another male in her life such as uncle,grandfather who can help feel that void for male attention? Try maybe a sport (t-ball or something like that where there is a male coach to give her some attention. Does her father ever see her? Maybe a therapist could impress on him that he needs to be consistant or it could be harmful to the child if he is not. Keep posting there are such wise women here who have been through what your going through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little girls.
Can you get her into therapy? it might help and give you some ideas of how to help...her.
At age 4, it is difficult to understand adult isssues. What are you saying "no" to? Sometimes we explain why NOT to do something too much and too long; we have to use age e-specific words. Keeping it very short and simple.
i think distraction is a good idea......divert what they shouldn't doing into doing something else.....You are doing the best you can; but it is good to reach out and get help.
Continue to love her and listen to her thoughts/fears, ask good questions when she wants to talk.....
All you can do is love her and assure her of that. I never knew my father; parents divorced when I was 2-3 and I didn't remember him; met him when I was 33 and he has since died.