Boy do I get your wish for a magic wand to fast forward through the pain!! The first month I wanted to die. Really. I had my hand on one of his guns that he left behind, but knowing the pain of suicide, I couldn't do that to my girls. (My son in law took his life one year ago tomorrow.) But it does get better, I promise. I am nearing 6 months. And unless I get a text from the selfish pri**, or have to deal with him in some other way, I do really pretty good. One day at a time, dear. We are all here for you.

I was where you are and it hurts like hell. It was so hard to understand that this was really happening and that he could do this to me, our kids, our whole family. It does get better, not good but livable. I didn't want the divorce and I think that made it all the worse. I to cried 24/7 for the first two months after I found out he was cheating. I felt like I was a different person and everything was just so allien to me about all of it.
I still miss him, I miss the man that use to be my best friend and the man I loved, not the lying, jerk he is now.
Time will help and getting involved in things, anything just to keep busy helps. I just picked up a part time job and it really helps but I am afraid there is nothing that will help the sinking feeling I get in my stomach every time I come home and just hope his car is there and this has all been a bad dream. I will tell you I have many more good days than bad now but it takes time. there is an end to the terrible pain but we will always remember exactly what it made us feel like.
Just take care of yourself first. The best revenge is to be the best person you can possibly be. I have been trying to lose a few pounds and I now wear make up again and am letting my hair grow, this is all just for me not anyone else and it makes me feel more in charge of my life. Do what ever it takes to give yourself a feeling of being in control of something.
Take care and come on here often. These ladies have been there for me and I have gotten great advise and great comfort here.