So, as some of you might know, I had a little get away witha new "friend" this weekend. As hurt and confused as I was before I left (with seeing my ex with his new girl right after he had come to me in tears saying he still loved me and wanted me back) I had fun and had a lot of alone time on the drive out and back to think about things. After being wined and dined for the entire weekend, It made me realize all that I had missed out on in my past relationship. Do I see things going places with this new guy, not at this time. But he has truely helped me realize what I want and NEED in my life. I also woke up this morning and realized that all this work I have done to convince myself that things are over with my ex, didnt get rid of the feelings for him. Those wont just go away. Those fade over time. What I realized was that I had become strong enough to realize that he wasnt good for me and my life and removed him from my life. Like an injury, you can remove the object that caused the injury, but you have to care for it. Treat it. Soon it will heal, but it will be tender for a bit. Once all that has gone away there will be a scar that will always be a part of you. And you can either remember how much fun you had, or how much the injury hurt when you got it. I choose to remeber the fun, but for now I have to take care of myself and let things heal knowing that HE will alway be a part of my past, but I get to decide who will be good for my future now.

I'm so glad you had a good time this weekend with someone else. It is peaceful coming to the point that you know there is more out there than the pain your ex was causing. When the exes first leave for someone else they have no idea what they want and send mixed feelings and issues back and forth to us...but just the fact that they could walk off with someone and do what they do tells us we really don't need selfish men like this in our lives.

I have seen much kinder men out here than my ex will ever be and now that I am not with my ex or even think about him much I notice that there are still kind and caring husbands and fathers around. It's nice to see men who care and are faithful to their families. It is just sad that my ex couldn't be one of them.

You are smart not to rush right in to a relationship with this person you spent the weekend with. I think we can learn a lot from our divorces and from what we know we don't want in our next relationships. It is good to take time and learn from the past so we can choose the right people for our futures. You sound like you have everything in control and the weekend ride helped you to place things into perspective. I enjoy taking time by myself to think and ponder about the past and the future. I think rushing things only puts us at a disadvantage when dealing with our lives. It is nice to hear some good news about someones weekend.

Susan