I have some serious concerns about the mental stability of my step-children's mother. In the past, she has proven herself to be unfit as she has always been unable to put the needs of her children ahead of her own and her boyfriend. My husband has successfully changed the custody, which we have primary now and has been status quo for 2 years. The problem is, the children, mainly the 11 year old, now refuses to go visit her mother. She has recently found out that her mother has been hiding her boyfriend at her new place of residence, ( this man has caused both children a great deal of emotional and mental abuse, to which the youngest is now in therapy). The mother has been hiding these very important facts from her kids. My step-daughter finally stood up to her Mother and told her she knew he was living there. Her mother replied with an email stating he wasn't. Then two days later confessed the entire thing to her 11 year old. My step-daughter is terrified of this man and she is terrified to return to her mothers home, which she stated in her reply email to her mother! What can we do? Can we ask the courts for supervised access and a restraining order against the boyfriend? Can we ask the courts to revoke her access? She is mentally unstable, her and her boyfriend are both drug users and alcoholics...any suggestions?
I have no personal experiance with custody battles and things like this but have several friends who are police officers and have heard a number of stories similar to yours. Not knowing the Law in your area and the details as to why the children dont like the boyfriend, I would recomend contacting the court system to see about supervised visitation while more perm terms are decided. If a visit is to be soon and you have a true legal reason for a restraining order, call your local police station and file some paperwork ASAP. That way if the children dont go over the house and their mother complains to the courts, you have at least started some kind of legal action. It sounds like you have the best interest of these children at heart and I would take action now rather then later. At 11, A child knows enough to know what is going on. Children see and know more then many adults give them credit for.
We have tons of legal affidavits etc to prove the reasons why the children are afraid of the boyfriend and we also have a large document provided to the courts from the Office of Children's Lawyers, they represented the children in the original custody battle. The 11 year old is in Therapy and the therapist also agrees that Supervised Visitation may be required, as the therapy is based on her bio mom and the boyfriend that just "doesn't seem to go away". The mother claims that the boyfriend will never ever come around them, but the little one doesn't trust her mother's word.....I will contact her therapist and see what she can recommend...they've already missed last weeks visit..and this upcoming weekend is hers also ( bi-weekly access) but I know the little one will not want to go, because her big brother ( who has literally protected her form the beginning, has to work and won't be going). It's such a terrible situation.
Yeah, the faster you take action the better.
you might not be able to completely stop visitation right now but you can at least make them feel safe until the courts can come up with a final solution
This is such a heartbreaking story. It always amazes me how any parent can put their children in harms way like this. I think your statement that they are drug addicts and alcoholics says it all. God bless you for caring so much about these children. Don't give it up you will find justice for these kids in the end.