I agree with the replies here & yes keep posting.
The only thing I wonder about though is Kathleen's advice as to seek counseling I do think will help but not sure if couple's counseling if he is abusive.
I think there are counselors that will see someone on an as needed basis, so maybe finding someone you can confide in this way, so you have support then if you want couples counseling...
Also, I agree to with the fact you have accomplished a lot. He may have been supportive at first but it sounds like he is now abusive. Some guys I think come on strong & give it all they have in the beginning but are unwilling to do what it takes to make a marriage work.
I have been hearing a lot lately about a gene called a, "cheating gene," & I guess it's not that uncommon. It is no excuse for infidelity but maybe it explains in part of the huge divorce rate.
If you do have a job now, maybe you could consider separation until he commits to the marriage. I'm not saying divorce, & I did not leave my now ex husband, he left me. I was no doormat.. I would stand up to him & he got tired of it & left. He never changed & same as the others are saying.. it was always my fault.
I think divorce is so difficult but you will not loose what you have gained. Marriage is hard work & commitment..I say stand your ground.
Hugs.