I am recently separated FOR THE 3rd time in 17yrs. My husband is downrite mean at times. He has 5 children and I have 3sons, all of our children are grown now but my youngest son and his wife are living with me and he is mean to them as well...not physical, just the way he talks to us and treats us. He denies treating anyone badly but He is and my two oldest will not even come around anymore...So about 3 1/2weeks ago i moved out and took my son and daughterinlaw with me....The problem is now what do I do...Im confused about it all. I really think i need to just divorce him and get it over with, but part of me saays no not yet. My sons have all told me i should never go back and we have had a rocky marriage from the start, he is such a jerk at times and then he turns on the charm at other times. The last time I left him because he wouldnt work and although i am an RN i cannot and will not support a man that is perfectly able to work. We were separated for 3 months and he got a job and begged me to come home. He has never been without a job since, but he did have an affair with his last baby momma while we were separated and that really rocked me to the core, but i forgave him and stayed, our marriage has been such a bad marriage bc of the fighting about kids,ex's and almost everything you could think of we have fought about it. He is a controller and Im independent and will not give in to his demands and so the fighting ensues. I do still love him but i dont see how i could ever live with him again. wE have been going to the same church for 15+yrs and he is still going even though i am attending and that makes it hard too. He puts on such a front at church but doesnt walk the walk at home. We have been in and out of marriage counselling and it gets better for a little while...but i cant go to marriage counseling for the rest of my life. He has mental issues as well, zdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder, narcissimn and oppositional defiant disorder and refuses to take meds for it.I need some advise as to what i should do. Please help

Linda, I am sorry you have to go through this. I know how difficuolt it is, especially when there are mental health issues involved. I have no proof, he won't even go for a diagnosis, but my grown kids and I have suspected for years that my former husband suffers with depression. This is a great site to get support from other woman who are considering or actually going through divorce. It sounds like you've been struggling to hold your marriage together for a long time. Your husband has had chances to make things right. If he won't take medications that he needs he is not trying with everything possible. Of course, no one can make the decision to divorce for you, that must be yours alone. But it does sound like you have tried everything you can and he has not so that needs to be considered.

Yea I feel like I have done the best I no how to do and now I feel like I need to take of me and my sons.....I regret ever marrying this man and wished I would have left a long time ago....Thanks for Ur input it is greatly appreciated.