My heart goes out to you. My ex had a hot temper sometimes, also (Aspberger's Autism I found out many moons later). My daughter and I "walked on eggshells" when he did bother to come home from the Strip Clubs and Hooters so late or early in the a.m. Thank goodness he didn't have any "friends" who disrespected our home and belongings, but I had neighbors who did, but they did not steal, but entered our home when only our teen daughter was home and not when we were which is inappropriate, also.

My mother TOLD me I was "done with men, I'd used up my tickets to ride... " basically. She reminded me repeatedly to not think about the next man, etc. When I reassured her that I felt allergic to a man's touch and immune to charm she was suddenly concerned I would be bitter. Funny coming from her... Anyway- At this stage, 6 weeks post husband ran away from home, after this HUGE rejection and abandonment on the heels of a life that's seen too many addicts and psychopaths ... It is a RELIEF to me to think ex will be the last. I never have to do this again. Oh sure, I can. I get get back out there with my dirt-bag magnet and get started all over again, but I choose the reletive peace of my dog. I choose to take care of that Dana within that get's trampled in these relationships where I find myself spinning double time to please a "him".
My daughter and I have LOTS of discussions about God's plan for us. I'm a believer that God put most things in motion in the beginning with cause and effect and freedom of choice. God didn't make a man violate me or abandon me. That would be the other team,the bad guys. But God's is here to help me and give me the strength to make some sweet cool lemonaide baby and I'm gonna do it! As soon as I calm down from a recent bought of rage that feels very non-productive. I am SO blessed I worked through rage young and know that acting on this would be disasterous. I taught my daugther something that will help us all.... be careful what kind of memories you make for yourself... you're stuck with them for the rest of your alert life. Living well IS the best revenge. It does not harm, improves your life and leaves behind any ill wishes they may have for us. It makes their venom worthless.
peace. Dana

Dana,
Each beginning and ending in our lives leaves us with a little more wisdom if we allow ourselves to learn from life. I have learned life is messy and no one is perfect. This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I was a perfectionist as a teen and young woman and thought if I worked hard enough I could always make things workout how I wanted them to. But I see that isn't true. Only God is perfect...we are human. I heard a preacher once say...A man without God can work and gain the whole word, but when he falls hard he doesn't always get back up....but when someone has the Lord in their life...no matter how many times they fall, He is always there to pick them up. He knows we are not perfect, he also know how hard you have tried with relationships...maybe you are on the right track now taking care of yourself and learning to put your love into yourself rather than a man right now...but don't give up either. Who knows what blessings God has for your future. There may be someone stable and loving that God has waiting for you, but perhaps as you have stated God allows things to happen for reasons so you learn and grow and know who you are before you meet the right person for yourself. I have learned so much from my divorce that I can not even begin to list everything, and I also, like you, have learned to take some time for myself to grow, to heal, to ponder upon what I have learned...and then move on. Never give up faith or hope, if you wish to meet that special person...like you said...follow Gods path, because who knows your heart better than God, to lead you to the blessings he has to offer. Love often comes when we are not looking, but right now you need some love and attention from yourself, some time to grow, heal, and ponder on things. Let God worry about the rest.

Susan

Dana,I agree with what you have to say. I enjoy the quiet life of viewing my grown daughter on Facebook, spending time with the cat and friends who are good to me as well as you ladies on this web site. I don't need another cheater, Hooters frequent customer, strip club devotee or big spender in my life! Not at almost age 50, been there, done that! Best wishes to you.