Hello, my husband and I have been married for 3 years now. We have a 1 year old son together and he has a 12 year old daughter from his first marriage. I moved from GA to Ohio to be with him since his daughter is here and he could not relocate. Our marriage has always been a roller coaster ride. We have our highs and then super lows. We fight, but we always seem to move on after a day or so. He’s never been physically abusive to myself or our children but he has gotten upset and broken several items around our house when he’s been upset. He always feels bad afterwards. I’m not perfect, I’ve slammed doors and yelled at him, and have been very angry at times.
My biggest stress right now is that we are behind on our finances and he acts like it’s no big deal. It takes a toll on our day to day life. But he keeps promising me that he will work but then he doesn’t due to the weather. He recently left his company to go work for himself. He promised me that at the first sign of little work he would go find another job.
We recently got into the biggest argument ever because he said he would be home at certain time and then he wasn’t. I was home with both kids and had to get up early the next day with our daughter and because he was mad at me, he decided it was ok to not come home at all.
There have been a handful of times during our marriage that he hasn’t come home but this sent me over the edge. I told him off in front of our friends- 2 other people who know we’ve had our issues. I told him I was going to GA early to visit my family. I had plans to go there anyway but I couldn’t stand to stay another day with him knowing what he did to me. He didn’t try and stop me or ask me to stay.
He has promised me time and again that if work was slow he would find something else. He has promised me that he would quit smoking and here we are 4 years later and he is back to cigarettes- charging them due to lack of funds! He has promised me that he hasn’t lied to me but yet I confronted him about smoking pot and he finally told the truth! All these promises!
It makes it really hard to move forward and not cry each day and be a good wife, mother, and stepmother. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. Now he’s been giving me the silent treatment since I’ve been home and will not talk about our real issues. I think I will have to get a lawyer and look into my options for filing for divorce. If I do that I would ask the court for full custody of my son so that I can move him back to GA. If my husband can’t provide for us then I’m going to have to somewhere where I can get that support.
Any advice? Has anyone been in a similar situation regarding custody and moving out of state?
Samantha: In most cases, there is joint custody and I know someone who can't move out of state due to joint custody. Talk to a Family Lawyer about it and check the divorce/custody laws in your State on line.