One thing that helped me find the strength to leave is this:
Imagine yourself living your best life a year from now after leaving your situation. Now ask yourself, would you make the decision to leave if you knew ahead of time that you would not fail?
Every time I asked myself that question... I always answered yes.
If you're asking the question how can I find the strength to leave you already had the strength to ask the question...you already HAVE the strength to leave.:relaxed:
The answer to "would I leave if I knew I wouldn't fail" is yes. But I don't know that. I have gone through the scenarios in my head and none of them end well. My kids, the home, their school, our friends and finances. Everything is so tightly intertwined. So I am back to the question, how do I leave, except by an act of God. I can't imagine a good life on the other side of marriage. So I stay. I am not proud of that admission, but it's finally the truth I have been afraid to say out loud.
Chrissy: Since you have a job and an inheritance, you are in a better situation than most to divorce if you want to. It seems like this marriage is over since he's not working, there's no intimacy and you are not wearing your ring. Get a consultation with a Family Lawyer to see what is at stake if you decide to divorce. He will probably be ordered to get a job and to pay child support. Stay in your home with the kids if you file if you can afford to.
I started thinking of divorce when my kids were still kids (they are adults now). The reason I didn't is much the same as yours. And my family kept telling me that I would never make it on my own with 3 kids.
Now divorcing after 40 years and I look back and say, "What do you mean I won't make it on my own? I was on my own back then without being divorced."
I am regretful that I didn't have faith in myself at that time.
Honestly I can see how it would be hard to leave a spouse that has struggled with unemployment? For one that is in my opinion a shallow reason to divorce but is becoming a very common occurrence. However, there’s also people that believe you should leave your spouse if they gain 20 pounds but to each is own. Either situation would take a good bit of courage to break a young family up over. Since you didn’t mention any abuse, destructive behaviors or cheating and there’s not a lot of details One can only assume. It almost sounds like you are struggling with the whole “I love you but not in love with you and I think we should see other people” conversation. I must admit, it’s hard to deal with a spouse with employment issues. I gotta assume that you took your ring off and the lack of intimacy and closeness is probably because he feels ashamed. I don’t think there’s an easy way to make this type of decision, best of luck!