Steph, I’ve just got out of a 29 year marriage and my story sounds the same. I had known my husband since I was 13 years old. My divorce was finalized in December which he filed. I told him I hope she is worth losing your family and still to this day he won’t admit to his wrong doings.
This has been the most heartbreaking and painful thing I have ever experience in my entire life. Something in me has changed for ever and I will never get over the hurt he has caused me and my youngest daughter because she was still living in the house and it was her senior year in high school when he decided to drop this bomb. In the past year this has effected my job pèrformance, my health emotionaly and physically. I’m a big mess trying to figure out where do I go from here. I try keeping myself busy by attending a divorce support group which helps and stay involved in my church.
I’m trying to find happiness again and learn how to enjoy being by myself. People keep saying he’s going to want to come back but I’ll never let another man get that close and destroy me from the inside out.
Steph be encouraged that you will get through this it takes time. It’s all about one day at a time. Don’t give up on yourself and know that God hasn’t given up on you. Trust and believe he’s there with us even when we feel alone. Better days are coming for all of us, just keep your eye towards the hills from which our help comes from.
Pray pray pray and ask God to help you through this difficult time and to heal your broken heart.
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband dropped the bomb 2 weeks after our oldest daughter's wedding and she is completely devastated. He has taken away her ability to enjoy being a newlywed and for that alone I will never forgive him. He, like your husband, seems to have no remorse for destroying our family and because of this I am actively moving from sadness to anger in the grieving process. It's been 6 months since the first time he told me he wanted out of the marriage and 3 months since the last time and although I don't cry as much as I did in the beginning, I'm still heartbroken and see no light at the end of the tunnel yet. I hope you can stay strong and that better days are ahead for all of us.
Thanks for sharing the story, I am in the process and it describes so well how do I feel. I also have 3 kids and suddenly, He stop seeing them. I feel your pain, your anger and your courage and kindness of not putting the kids in the middle. Life goes on, take care of yourself and believe that your new chapter is going to be awesome. Hugs and good vibes from a stranger walking on a similar journey
Steph, thank you for sharing your story. I know how painful this is as I am in the same boat. Sometimes it's just helpful to unload and say what you need to say to strangers because it's easier or less humiliating than burdening close friends and family members. We,on this forum, are all suffering together and in that I hope you can find some solace that you're not alone. I'm finding out how incredibly lonely this process is, especially since my husband was the person I considered my best friend and soulmate. I can't confide in my kids, even though they are adults, and that doesn't leave me with many options. This is all new to me so I can't offer much advice but I'm happy to lend an ear and offer support. Stay strong for yourself and your kids.
My children (twins 28 years) have declared that they are "Switzerland" (neutral). I think this is totally appropriate and I refrain from getting them involved. At the same time, they have been wonderfully supportive, calling to check in, helping with things I am totally abysmal at doing (computer). Today, with crazy snow, my daughter called to find out if I needed help with snow removal.
So, I respect their "Switzerland neutrality" with the specifics and I get loving support in return.