my husband voiced to me a month ago he wanted a divorce. he stopped wearing his wedding ring, moved into the guest room and i even had a coworker find him on Tinder (dating app) which he has since deleted after i confronted him.
he keeps saying he's confused and doesn't trust his feelings. now he's gone so far to say he doesn't want a divorce and everything will be ok but wants his space for a while. he cheated on me last year while we were moving cross country but i forgave him and wanted to move on from it.
we've been married almost 6yrs and together for almost 9yrs. due to his recent neglect in our marriage and saying hurtful things like he isn't in-love with me anymore and doesn't think he'll ever be good to me again i have had a meeting with a lawyer and had us do an orientation into mediation for divorce (all to protect myself).
i'm just so sad it's all come to this. he's forcing me to do all this because he's so back and forth with what he wants. i'm devastated this is happening. i love my husband and don't want this. oh gosh, how do you all get through this? i know i shouldn't wait around for him to make a decision, thus why i'm taking the steps. i just wish he would come back to me.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can relate as I have a 32+year marriage that seems to be headed in the same direction...and I still love him dearly, but he moved out almost a year ago. Neither one of us is willing to make the first step towards legal separation...something keeps us both hanging on...and it hurts.
It sounds to me like your husband is going through the same thing mine did...a mid-life crisis that messes with their minds in ways that are so hard to understand...even for them, but especially for us.
You also have time to possibly turn things around if that's what you truly want while you are together and not living apart. There is couples counseling and mediation lawyers who focus on keeping couples together and not just on divorce.
Forgiveness for infidelity is rough, but do-able if you truly love someone. I wish you the best!
I am very sorry for your situation. The same thing happened to this author, but had they not taken the step to file, things could have gone on much longer and gotten much worse:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1693393220
If your spouse is already moving on with their lives, and you keep hoping for a miracle, you may come to find out that, like the author of the book, they were being bled dry financially. Please be sure to think through the impacts that could come to you while waiting for a miracle.
Alice: If you get back together with him, which I hope you do not, have him get tested for STDs since he has been with others. Protect yourself financially and physically. I am glad you are seeing a Lawyer. This is not a good marriage and I think you are better off out of it. Best wishes.