To answer your question, yes, there is definitely hope! If I can recommend a book to help, an author named Dorian Wright actually felt the same way you did after their divorce experience. You can find it at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1693393220
The book proves that there truly is a better life waiting for you. It is definitely hard, but it can definitely be done!! I also recommend listening to your local Christian station, on XM it is called "The Message". It's not preachy at all, and definitely helps at times like these.
Maybe there is hope if this guy leaves if it's a bedroom thing he just decides he wants (variety). My ex threatened to leave 4 times in the marriage, then left when our daughter went off to college. People don't forget things said like that. Things weren't perfect, but I was a good wife, just neglected from the start. Best wishes.
You are you. Do not change. Most women would love to have a husband like you but not all women are the same. If you change your not being yourself and you will live unhappy being fake through life. Your wife needs an lesson, a terrible life experience. She doesn’t appreciate what she has and she hasn’t been on the other side of the fence in two ways. First she’s not in your shoes and second she has never had a terrible lazy husband that does nothing with her, the kids or the house.
Unfortunately you clearly state that she is the only person for you. You definitely deserve better. My only suggestion for you would be to try another approach off the wall but being honest I would had been done with her a long time ago being in your shoes.
First stop paying while she’s banking. You will and can only lose at this point. You’re paying all to try to keep her. You cannot buy love my friend. It only comes naturally. Start spending time alone with your kids. I would get them use to that. Their feelings need to come first before any. A separation will drastically effect them. Good luck
Mary: I just re-read his post. I totally agree with you. He also needs to go for a consultation with a Lawyer and I hope she moves in with the guy she's having the affair with, too.