my husband is bipolar. our relationship has been a rollercoaster of him being madly in love with me one day and the next calling me a hooker and calling the cops on me.
he is a good person, works hard and has a good job, loves my dogs. but he blames me for everything, he is irritable and short. he tried to commit suicide which left me feeling like i could never trust him or really rely on him through life. once he left me on the side of the road for reading a google map wrong.
but then there is the fact that he supports me and my dogs financially and pushes me to focus on my hobbies and my art and things i enjoy doing with my time.
there are always two sides to every story, and no more than with a bipolar husband. I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with but i also know i am a calm human being, I don't get angry or blame people or snap and get irritable for no reason.
we are on a holiday together right now, already, he has been short and rude so many times. so much so that one day he ruined the whole day because i suggested a restaurant where the food turned out to be average, and then a whole other day when he refused to come sightseeing with me because i miscalculated train timings.
when we arrived in a new city, i offered to help him find the address and for some reason that angered him so much that he told me i should keep my mouth shut when he didn't ask for my help and then after i refused to help him push the trolley he then raised his hand and pretend slapped me in public saying, 'you deserve a slap right now'.
I didnt take the cab with him and ended up nearly getting mugged and when he joined me at the police station where i was making a report, he told me that I deserved what happend to me.
finally, I realised this is really not working. so i told him I wanted to end it. instead of apologising and trying to fix things, he booked himself two days in the countryside with two girls he had just met recently while out partying without me.
when I told him he should go with me, not some other random women. he said i could come if i wanted to, but I shouldnt get in his way because he has specific plans and i just slow him down because i dont walk fast enough or dont get ready fast enough. etc. to which i said maybe its best he go by himself.
to which, when he's walking out the door to pick these girls up, he says, "i love you so much that I dont want to see you sad, which is why im going to let you break up with me, because this is who i am and i cant change any more for you"
now. as im typing and reading this it seems the answer should be simple, i should run and never loo back. of course the realisty is harder because bipolar people are capable of so many moments of great love.
i suppose the basic fact is that we just dont make each other happy. and that should be reason enough to leave each other.
I just feel so alone. all i want is for him to show me respect, stop being so irritable, stop blaming me for everything. apologise for his behaviour. but all im getting is 'i love you so much im going to et you break up with me".
it makes me so furious. and i cant speak to anyone about it.
I completely understand what you are going through, but like my soon to be ex husband it seems he has already checked out of the marriage.. I just found out a few days ago that he has been having an affair with a family friend who’s also married. He hasn’t had a stable job for years, he’s manipulative, sneaky and heartless.. After 17years I can’t change him, we have a 12 year old son and that’s what hurts the most. Just know you are not the problem it’s not your fault and you are not to blame.. We have to learn to love and value ourselves. Love shouldn’t hurt and we shouldn’t have to fight for their love. I have a few friends that have gone through similar situations and it really helps to just talk and vent. You’re more than welcome to reach out to me aidatores07@yahoo.com if you need someone to talk to you’re not alone.
Jannat: I dated a bipolar man after my marriage ended. It was a disaster very similar to what you describe. He was on meds., but it was a long time before they found one that really worked and then they would have to change it. He called me a slut, treated my 18 year old badly behind my back and wanted the woman next door because my daughter reminded him, behaviorally speaking, of his son. Eventually, I had a nervous breakdown. Please get out of this marriage ASAP and find work and best wishes to you.