My husband was having at least an emotional affair with a coworker since our first son and only child was 5 months old. The other woman called off her engagement and my husband at the time was an incredible liar. To this day he claims the affair wasn’t physical until I left our home.
No part of me wants to still love him. But I look at my son I am so full of fear and get so depressed and self-loathing thinking of why my husband who I dated 8.5 years prior to our marriage would decide he didn’t want a life with me after just 1.5 years of marriage and a very rough pregnancy later!?
I am working with a counselor as I was quite overwhelmed at the beginning of this discovery back in January this year.
We are approaching our second court date for the divorce and my “ex” is so back and forth between being kind and appreciative of the extra effort I make to allow him to be included in our child’s life. My ex continues to badger me saying I need to move on. How do I begin to let go and move on with all the intense emotions and hope for our family that was just beginning to now having to have my young child go to the others woman’s home and I am fighting with my ex to keep custody. I am drowning in emotion today and don’t have anyone who understands what divorce and cheating it like.
I am very sorry to hear what you are going through, and both totally understand, and can relate with, your feelings.
If you check out "20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story" on Amazon and Goodreads, you'll see the story of another who was cheated on, and for most of the time up to their divorce, their ex continued attempting to hide it, even though the proof was extremely obvious.
Sadly, you are correct in that people who haven't *lived* it, simply can't comprehend the damage it causes. For me, I see it as an alternate form of PTSD.
You can read what I wrote to get me through my divorce on FB @ MadisonMeadows Poetry. Writing helped me a lot:) I would encourage you to start a journal.
Sam: It takes time to adjust to something like this. Many people with kids don't talk to the soon-to-be ex or ex unless it is urgent or involves the child, you should, too. Let the Lawyers do some of the talking, especially at first. My ex and I were not in love anymore at the time of the divorce and it does make things easier. I think he just preferred the girls at Hooters and seeing women at strip clubs. Good luck to the woman who is with your husband now. She will need it. Wow! and......the I will bet the guy she broke off the engagement with is probably glad she cheated before the marriage and not after! Make sure you get your child support. Some people have a trusted friend and/or family member read a text or listen to a phone message from an ex. Don't let him play with your emotions or tell you what to do if it doesn't concern the child. Get a Lawyer if you haven't already.
