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Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

I’m sorry for the pain you are enduring! It’s all very familiar to me and I think the first step for me was to accept the marriage is over. (I caught my husband cheating that did it for me). It seems like your husband has moved on and although it’s painful and heartbreaking you will have to accept it. I find it helpful to talk to my close family friends although I feel I sound like a broken record sometimes it but but helps to vent. I’ve been told it gets easier with time I’m hoping it does

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Ida
I’m sorry for the pain you are enduring! It’s all very familiar to me and I think the first step for me was to accept the marriage is over. (I caught my husband cheating that did it for me). It seems like your husband has moved on and although it’s painful and heartbreaking you will have to accept it. I find it helpful to talk to my close family friends although I feel I sound like a broken record sometimes it but but helps to vent. I’ve been told it gets easier with time I’m hoping it does
Thank you so much for the insight. All I have is my mom,my brother and sister in law and they have been there for me since day one. I so appreiciate your kindness and influence. Thank you so very much.
VA

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Sorry to hear that you are going thru this! But, now you have to focus on you. Can’t fix a marriage by yourself he clearly made his mind. Don’t dwell on why he don’t want to fix it etc. You deserve better! He don’t mind losing you so give him the same energy. I know it hurts like hell. But, you can & will get thru this. Take it one day at a time. It will be good, bad & even harder days. It’s only temporary this is not your final destination. Life goes on and don’t hold yourself back because of this!

I’m going thru a very ****ty divorce currently and redirecting my energy to bettering and loving myself has help me know things happen for a reason whether that reason is know or not! Let go what you can’t control and control how you react to the situations/ circumstances don’t let them consume you! This divorce journey does not have to break you! Learn from it , develop strength you thought you never had you’ll be surprised how much you can handle when you believe in yourself. Trust the process!

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Yogaislife
Sorry to hear that you are going thru this! But, now you have to focus on you. Can’t fix a marriage by yourself he clearly made his mind. Don’t dwell on why he don’t want to fix it etc. You deserve better! He don’t mind losing you so give him the same energy. I know it hurts like hell. But, you can & will get thru this. Take it one day at a time. It will be good, bad & even harder days. It’s only temporary this is not your final destination. Life goes on and don’t hold yourself back because of this!

I’m going thru a very ****ty divorce currently and redirecting my energy to bettering and loving myself has help me know things happen for a reason whether that reason is know or not! Let go what you can’t control and control how you react to the situations/ circumstances don’t let them consume you! This divorce journey does not have to break you! Learn from it , develop strength you thought you never had you’ll be surprised how much you can handle when you believe in yourself. Trust the process!
Thank you for the advice. I am not positive he has someone else but I along with others think he has. I honestly do not know what to do with myself. It's like my soul has left my body. I miss him so much. We had a fun, happy and very sexual marriage. I don't know what happened. But I appreicate everyoes insight and encouragement along with any advice I receive.
VA

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Victoria: See a Lawyer and get emergency alimony ASAP especially if he's moved out. See if you can get a responsible roommate to help pay bills, too. Sometimes you can get a free consultation with the first visit with a Lawyer. Make sure when you contact a Lawyer that it is important because they will charge you for each face-to-face meeting, court time, etc. I was married for 21 years and only worked full-time for two years and very part time for eight years. I was raising our child for most of the marriage and we couldn't afford the day care.

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Lara
Victoria: See a Lawyer and get emergency alimony ASAP especially if he's moved out. See if you can get a responsible roommate to help pay bills, too. Sometimes you can get a free consultation with the first visit with a Lawyer. Make sure when you contact a Lawyer that it is important because they will charge you for each face-to-face meeting, court time, etc. I was married for 21 years and only worked full-time for two years and very part time for eight years. I was raising our child for most of the marriage and we couldn't afford the day care.
Actually,I have a spitfire of an attorney! We went to court this past Monday for seperation releif.
The judge ordered him to pay me so much a month and to continue paying the bills and mortage as well as my car needs.
She also issued a restraing order against him. I can stay in our maritial home but he cannot invade my privacy.
My attorney and I are currently working on further payments. He has been a fkn jackass to me. He only sees it his way and thinks its all about him but it isn't. He is the type that runs from his problems instead of facing them.I would rather sit and talk it out and discuss our issues but he will not have it. He has blocked my cell no and home phone number. I had to permentaly delete my facebook. He is a fkn jerk.
Thank you for the suggestions,and advice, I certianly appericate any I can get. Sorry you are having or had to go through such insane bs.
VA

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Vickie: Yeah, I hear you. They all get angry when they are going to be out some money. Maybe there is a workplace that can train you. Where I live, there is an agency which trains people to take care of/shop for/clean for (and/or) the elderly and also trains people for work in medical offices and it's free. If you cannot find work due to age, lack of experience, etc., check the laws in your State on line to see if there is lifetime alimony due to the length of your marriage, etc., (view the circumstances list) and/or ask your Lawyer about it. One thing that is in your favor is that the job situation in this country is very good right now. Let the Lawyers do the talking to him, when needed, (his Lawyer will speak to yours, that's how it works) no need to worry about him having blocked your numbers. It will all come out in the courtroom. It is a difficult time waiting for your/his final day in court, but focus on taking care of yourself and spending time/talking to supportive friends and/or family. Your soon-to-be ex initiated this just like mine did, and so they have to deal with the fallout. I was working very part time and eventually retired since my Dad left me enough to cover the bills (ex got his retirement and I got the house which was paid for - 50/50 split of assets which is the law in my State). Ex enjoyed his after work time at Gentlemen's Clubs while I raised his child. He blew ($20K a year on the credit card two years in a row). I stayed within my income. Only buy what you need at this point and if you need to go to your local Food Pantry or a Thrift Shop, by all means, do that. It was a little more complicated than that what happened over 21 years, but you get the idea. It may be your husband was having an affair or some type of mid life crisis. Best wishes to you.

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Why do you want to stay with a man that doesn't want to be with you?? Your not to old to work. You've been his caregiver for years, maybe try caregiving. It's easy to get certified and there are plenty of jobs. You're just scared. But your a powerful woman. Don't forget that. You don't need a man to take care of you. You're more than capable to take care of yourself.

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

MadisonMeadows
Why do you want to stay with a man that doesn't want to be with you?? Your not to old to work. You've been his caregiver for years, maybe try caregiving. It's easy to get certified and there are plenty of jobs. You're just scared. But your a powerful woman. Don't forget that. You don't need a man to take care of you. You're more than capable to take care of yourself.
I honestly do not know. I love him and I have been with him my entier adult life. Since I was 18. You are so correct, I am capable of taking care of myself! I am in the process of job hunting eventhough I have no experience.. But fingers crossed,I will find something. Thank you for lifting me up!! I appreicate it so very much!
VA

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

I feel you.. my husband filled for the divorce, three weeks ago, I feel just like a body, no soul no hope, he is the meanest person in the world, last week in the middle of my desperation I tried to talk and he run over my foot, left me behind without helping me.. I accept that I need help... I will start therapy because I can’t do it by myself... i have two kids and they need me... SO my dear we deserve better, you are not the only one... find help if you think you need it..

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Jenn
I feel you.. my husband filled for the divorce, three weeks ago, I feel just like a body, no soul no hope, he is the meanest person in the world, last week in the middle of my desperation I tried to talk and he run over my foot, left me behind without helping me.. I accept that I need help... I will start therapy because I can’t do it by myself... i have two kids and they need me... SO my dear we deserve better, you are not the only one... find help if you think you need it..
Oh my goodness,bless your heart! I feel the same,like my soul has left my body. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I am so sorry you are going through the same thing as I am. But that's what we are here for to help one another,correct? I am also going to a dr for help with coping with my life. I cannot control what is happing but I can control how I react and so can you! Godspeed honey! Thank you for your response we will get through this one day at a time with one another.
VA

Re: I don't want a divorce but my husband has already filed! Advice please!!

Text me if you ever want to chat ..I'm in the same boat. 5709541600