I can't read all that, without leaving a comment, and my little advice. :heart: You need to definitely get yourself healthy -mentally and physically. Just like on the airplane... help yourself first, then you can help your children. As Mom, you need to put them first. Everything needs to be about what you need to do for them... not what you need to do to spite him or get back at him. You, unfortunately, chose him... now you know (like you said 20/20 hindsight) that you now need to deal with him. He will always be your children's father. Once you get your mental health stronger, you can fight for them with a clear head. I don't know where you live, but if you don't have a job and you have 2 kids, going through a divorce - the county you live in should have resources to help you for free. If you are looking for instant gratification, youtube has a lot of good meditation videos that can maybe help you to feel better and calm you a little. I believe that we are not dealt anything that we can't handle. This too will pass! :heavy_heart_exclamation_mark_ornament:

Jennifer: I also agree with the other poster about getting yourself healthy. See if there is a women's services center in your area to call to help with your needs and the needs of your kids. Some of these places also give free legal help. I would also contact the Domestic Violence Hotline. This man should only visit his kids in a supervised visitation center. See about getting child support sent electronically from his account if he has one. Get whatever help you need whether it's from family, Welfare, a Food Pantry, Public Housing, a church, until you get back on your feet. I hope he never has more kids with anyone and that you see as little of him as humanly possible. A man like this, in my opinion, could end up in jail. If you are able to get a Lawyer someday, I recommend a Family Lawyer who also handles divorce, and I would try for full custody since he's not paying support and not complying with conditions. Please tell the Lawyer he's not paying and not meeting conditions. Read about child support and custody laws on a reputable web site for your State.