Good afternoon ladies, sorry to jump into your board being that I am a guy. However we don't have anything like this that I have found and my question needs a woman's perspective I think.
So my wife asked for a divorce and left 6 months ago. prior to that she had an affair 2 years ago (emotional affair. in between that time we said we were going to work on us and get us good again...ok. We had a great time, trips, events, laughing, love making...the week before she left she turned towards me in the car and said "we have an amazing life"....2 days later she takes my hand and says she is depressed and doesn't know if its me or work....ouch ok. we get into an argument that week and she wants a divorce. A couple of weeks later she is dating her emotional affair guy who also happens to be her first love from when she was 17. All that I get, seems like she wasn't honest about our amazing life, although I think she was but the idea of him and her couldn't escape he thoughts.... My question is this. When she left I did the begging and all the silly stuff people do that never actually works....and it didn't. but I don't understand how someone can show so much love and appreciation for someone and a week later hate them...maybe hate is harsh but she certainly dislikes me and I have done nothing but try my best to accommodate her needs in all of this...I just don't understand why she dislikes me when we got along so well a week earlier.
While you're here crying like a ****** she's talking to a lawyer figuring out what she's gonna' get in cash and prizes. Don't count on a lovely parting gift for the outgoing losing contestant.
Hey Jay, woman's opinion, that is what you asked for right?
SHe is confused, first of all and this should not be misconstrued as an invitation to de-confuse her. This could be a chemical imbalance or just lack of self awareness but...Let her GO! Don't pass go and don't look back.
You'll always be chasing (and wondering) some elusive dream of happiness.
Get on with your life. You sound like a decent guy so if you figure out your own stuff to make sure you don't attract the same situation in different clothes, do the inner work to figure out what part you played in this. (If you have questions about this, just ask, I just joined this forum and am here to help and support)
BTW...the affair and whether it was emotional or physical is totally irrelevant. SHe is not happy with herself! THAT is what is relevant.
I am going through a somewhat similar situation. For us, it is definitely mental illness, likely depression. Although she is being treated it seems like it won.t be enough and she is going to leave. Not because of any problem that she or any of the therapists and docs can identify but just she feels terrible about everything and is looking for an escape.
You mentioned swings of emotion and her feeling depressed. These might be a clue that it does not have much to do with you and that you can’ t impact it much other than to see if she can get help.