While you're here crying like a ****** she's talking to a lawyer figuring out what she's gonna' get in cash and prizes. Don't count on a lovely parting gift for the outgoing losing contestant.
Hey Jay, woman's opinion, that is what you asked for right?
SHe is confused, first of all and this should not be misconstrued as an invitation to de-confuse her. This could be a chemical imbalance or just lack of self awareness but...Let her GO! Don't pass go and don't look back.
You'll always be chasing (and wondering) some elusive dream of happiness.
Get on with your life. You sound like a decent guy so if you figure out your own stuff to make sure you don't attract the same situation in different clothes, do the inner work to figure out what part you played in this. (If you have questions about this, just ask, I just joined this forum and am here to help and support)
BTW...the affair and whether it was emotional or physical is totally irrelevant. SHe is not happy with herself! THAT is what is relevant.
I am going through a somewhat similar situation. For us, it is definitely mental illness, likely depression. Although she is being treated it seems like it won.t be enough and she is going to leave. Not because of any problem that she or any of the therapists and docs can identify but just she feels terrible about everything and is looking for an escape.
You mentioned swings of emotion and her feeling depressed. These might be a clue that it does not have much to do with you and that you can’ t impact it much other than to see if she can get help.