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Holidays?

How do you get through the holidays? I'm 57 and been divorced now for 3 years and each year gets so **** hard trying to get through Nov/Dec/Jan. This time of year has always been a big thing - extended family/friends gatherings, cooking, wrapping, decorating, many other traditions for almost 30 years. Holidays started declining when my family (mom,dad,grown kids)moved far away 8 years ago but did have inlaws/friends/etc over.

So depressing with all the romance/goody goody movies and happy ending shows!

No one (friends/inlaws/etc) socializes with me from "those days"; the kids have lives of their own and they're so far away; haven't made any new friends, I'm unable to work and limited with volunteering, forget dating!

Re: Holidays?

I'm in the same position except that I no longer struggle with the details. Last year even my sister rejected me, saying she just anted Christmas to be HER immediate family! Ouch.
I spent it alone again but do not focus on the rejection but instead focus on others being happy and being happy for them. Seeing good things happen for others is not a reason (although tempting) to think you are less deserving than them. We all deserve to be happy!
Also focusing on doing good for those that are even less fortunate than you works magic. Volunteer at a shelter serving the homeless or disabled. You will really feel like you've accomplished something.
Hope this helps

Re: Holidays?

I wish there were shelters like that around! I've googled and haven't found anything within a 75 mile radius and there's no public trans in my area (rural)to even get there.
Yes, my only sibling did that a few years back too.....only immediate family and inlaws would have gatherings together.

Re: Holidays?

I'm so sorry that you've also experienced that rejection. It's hard, especially when already in struggle and disappointment.
I didn't realize you lived in a rural area. Check with the local churches to see what they might suggest!

Re: Holidays?

I feel your pain and I'm sorry you are struggling too. The Holidays seem to be the worst with so many memories and special dates that are now ignored.
I agree the commercials, romantic and goody goody movies are quite depressing! I try to stick to TV shows that won't trigger these unpleasant feelings even though a few commercials happen to come on and I just try to ignore them.
I try to focus on having gratitude for the family and friends I still have in my life and for the little things that bring me some joy. If you can find one thing to be thankful for each day that helps...even if it's something simple.
Reach out to family and friends even if it's just a phone call to let them know you're thinking of them. Brighten someone else's day and it will make you feel better too.
If you're unable to volunteer, try donating to a local food pantry, gifts for needy children or sending Christmas cards to those in the military who cannot be home for Christmas.
(Google "Operation Christmas Cards").
Wishing you the best! ~Blessings to you!~

Re: Holidays?

LH...love your suggestions! Any kind of involvement to get the focus off of ourselves is a great way to begin to set yourself up for success!

Do them ALL!