I have been with my husband for 15 years . We have 4 kids together. I walk on eggshells everyday. Even when he is gone at work I know a text message or call is going to come in from him that either belittles me or is just disrespectful. He gets very angry when I tell him my feelings or that I think he is disrespecting me. I have to listen to him and basics never have a opinion. He has resentment towards me for not helping financially. He has worked very hard for our family. I take care of our 4 kids and I recently got a part time job but still that isn’t good enough and he complains about having to watch the kids when I’m at work because he needs his own time by himself. When I’m at work I get angry texts from him. Or he calls yelling that the kids don’t listen and I am not raising them right. He will break my things when he is mad at me because I will defend myself or he will destroy the house saying he wants to ruin my life and make it harder dumping trash all over the house throwing the dishes or throwing food or drinks everywhere for me to clean up. Tells the kids I’m stupid and that’s why he does those things. I thought I could stay with him until our kids grow up but this is really eating away at me everyday. I don’t have any money or a car. I now make $800 a month. He won’t let me go to school to better myself. I’m afraid to tell him I want to divorce him. And then I’m also afraid to divorce him because I don’t think he will be able to deal with raising kids on his own. So I just am in a predicament where no matter what way I go it’s going to be hard.

Your story is so gripping, your courage to tell it and ask for help are inspiring. No matter how belittling your husband is towards you, it has never, does not now, nor will ever have any validity on your value and humanity. You are stronger then you know and have more power than you know. Your experience is real and and valid. What you have described your husbands actions and behavior to be can have an unimaginable impact on your psyche. There are safe support groups for women and in children in your position and people who are willing to go to great lengths to assist and protect you in a transition to a new and safer life. If you google Empower House and your city, you should get information on a how to move forward with support, information and safety. There is hope and help and you are capable of more than you give yourself credit for!

Thank you for your words. I got to purchase a car in my name that felt very nice. I’m making the steps to leave him, car, job looking for a place to live. Only problem with place to live is that I want to move out of state next to family that is willing to help out with kids. I don’t think he will ever let me do that. I don’t know how to convince him. But I know he cant raise kids by himself. Oldest gives him attitude all the time, never wants to be home when dad is home because of him yelling at everyone. Second oldest just stays in his room unless hungry. Third child won’t listen to him at all because he doesn’t talk to her nicely and he gets mad says he’ll throw away all her stuff. And he says baby is needed and never sleeps. I’m tired of nothing being good enough. Before I left to go to work made muffins and casserole he just complained about the meat I used in the casserole. Talked to me like I was a idiot asked me to call him from now on about food preferences. I seriously called him twice and texted him 3 times concerning the food I was cooking. He didn’t respond so I did my own thing. Then tells me I didn’t respond because I was busy at work. Seriously, he nit picks everything I do. I’ve been working for one month now two part time jobs I got paid l together around $1,700. Tells me it isn’t good enough and I need to get a full time job on top of that and he needs a brake. Claiming he makes $6,000 a month. Which he doesn’t. When I said he didn’t he hung up on me swearing at me. It’s one second hot then another second cold. He is so exhausted, stressed, mad, angry and he says it’s all my fault. I have horrible vision and he got mad at me one night a argument about me wanting to visit my new niece. He said no, I responded that’s ridiculous I really want to go. He takes my purse and locks himself in our room cuts up all of my credit cards, aaa card, kids health insurance cards so I couldn’t spend any of his money. Broke my sunglasses and glasses because he wanted to brake something I care about. Now I’m getting headaches and can’t see. And he bragged to the kids that he did this and the reason why he did it. He is such a bad example for the kids. I just wanna to get away from him. I’m saving up to move out. My second son is starting to act like my husband very frustrated and mad when he doesn’t get his way. Saying bad works at school hitting people because they make him mad. So now he is in the schools behavior class and is improving. I don’t want my kids to ever think it is okay to treat someone the way there father treats us. He’ll brake my kids belongs when they don’t want to listen or give him attitude. I just wanna to protect them from him. I’m afraid to try to take them 9 months out of the year. If I bring up the subject he’ll get so mad. So I have my plan on car, save money to move, but I don’t know how to get the kids the majority of the time and move out of state near family that will help me. And I hear everyday from him he is going to put me on a time limit I get one month before he quits his job and I support the family fully. Must make what he makes a month also.